Today marks the second day since I came home. Been able to adjust to it well, probably because I have not been amongst the crowd yet :) Things at home are pretty much the same, except for the change of a few pieces of furniture. Was great to see my parents, although my first impression of seeing them was that they looked tired. Maybe it was the late arrival time in Singapore, but it's a reminder of what they have been through and the fact that life is difficult.
I eventually slept past 3am and woke up at 6am, unable to get back to sleep. This morning is similiar. Amazing thing is I feel so refreshed and awake! I have longed to be able to get up early and seek God in the quietness of the morning. It just makes a difference to everything. However, in the past months in UK, I have been unable to do that. Am glad I broke out of the cycle.
My grandma had a fall the day before and spent a day in the observation ward in NUH. Went to spend with time with her and aunts in the morning. It was a good time of catching up. I was encouraged by their light-heartedness. They have been through alot, each one of them with their own burdens to carry. Could see unity in my three aunts as they supported each other in a time where the extended family isn't as cohesive as before.
There was a secondary school gathering in the evening which was planned weeks ago whilst I was in UK. I thought it was appropriate to share about my experience in UK. I strongly felt God leading me to make it evangelistic and I have been praying for salvations that evening. Practising 'So you would come' by Hillsongs over the past two weeks on the guitar as to minister to people through it. God provided a nice venue and food despite the last-min preparations. Am really thankful for Meihua and Xiao ling who helped to contact everyone and accommodate last minute changes. Although 5 people could not make it in the end, but I am glad to see many familiar faces, some I have not seen for 10 years! (Elden, Meiling and Meijiao) During my testimony, I focused on two obvious signs in my life that God is real and working in me are, 'My attitude towards girls and sex' and 'My heart's desire for my life's calling/destination'. I got distracted during the sharing as some people appeared to be uinterested. I guess each time I put myself up front, it's learning more and more to focus on God, to simply be concerned for the audience of one and leave the rest of the audience to Him. I felt the time afterwards where I was singing some songs were really really bad. I had envisoned in my mind many times that people would be responsive and I thought the words spoke powerfully. However, I realise now that singing worship songs would be out of the comfort zone for them. Maybe I should have sung some Christmas songs. I actually picked 'Reason for the season', but I couldn't get the right key for that. Anyway, I trust that the lyrics spoke into their hearts.
All in all, there were no responds during the 'altar call'. The moment everything ended, I felt crushed in the sense that I didn't know whether God spoke to anyone of them. I have got over the dissapointments now and a sermon by Colin back in NCCC about praying for his father for 16 years for salvation encouraged me. It's not so much about how this one-time event went, but more about lifting them up regularly to God in prayer for our fight is against the rulers and authorities of this world. Two hearts that were certainly touched were Kelvin and his wife. They have a 6-7 month old son, smiley baby Steward, and they shared that it's their desire for him to have a religion. Their sending him to St. Hildas and have bought a place near the school. I told them that their love for their child is a glimpse of God's love for them and also the best thing they can provide for the child, especially wanting the child to come to faith is for them to know and be grounded in the truth themselves. I pray that God would bring this whole family to know Him, for Steward to be a true steward of God. It's been a good reminder that salvation belongs to God and ultimately it's about faith and obedience as compared to works in terms of ministry.
The whole day ended with a nice walk with my dad at 1am in the morning and a time of praying and sharing till 3am! One thing which was impressed upon my heart as he prayed was for God to use us as a whole family. A chord of 3 strands is not easily broken and I remember one of edmund's chan sermon, saying that it starts with the family. Family is to be placed above ministry. (1 Tim 3:4)
Man, if my remaining days in Singapore is similiar to my first 24 hrs, I would 'Peng san'! But God is amazing and it's wonderful to live for Him!
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