28th Birthday

Lord, I specially dedicate my 28th birthday morning to you. Thanking you for my past (even before I knew you) present and future experiences, shaping and working in me to fulfill Your INTENDED purposes in me. You saved my life twice physically (more that I am unaware I am sure) and there was an exchange on the cross where you have given me an ETERNAL abundant life through my faith in You.

After dawn prayers this morning, I thought of pampering myself to some nice breakfast by some nice scenary and spend time with God. Flipped open the street directory and saw the Zoo, but unfortunately it requires entry admission. Thought of East coast park, but it was too far. There wasn't much of a choice and I wasn't familiar with the West so I decided to head back to my new home. Spent the morning instead up in the balcony (it's a penthouse) spending time with God and catching up with some sleep. Come to think of it, it's my first morning in a new house spending time with God on my birthday. Wow...what a way to move in! Initially our family was thinking of moving to another place, but we believe that God led us to this place instead. It's a more spacious and humble place to stay. Brother decided not to stay with us, but my Dad has a strong feeling that he will come back soon. I have the same impression :)

A photograph overlooking the balcony. What an ideal place to pray for the country!


Ps Ann spoke about security. Being set free so we can help set others free. Insecurity is something which I face in my life. Ps Ann said that everyone faces it, it's only a question of degree. I can trace many issues I struggle with back to insecurity. The need to compare myself with others, even spiritually, boils back to my identity in Christ. In my relationship with others, I can interact best when I feel secure about myself. On the contrary, insecurity would led me to bother excessively about their opinions of me. Even in my seemingly good intentions and efforts to build bridges with people, it can be a form of security. When facing the difficult side of singlehood, I have to beware of not taking the easy way out of finding acceptance and significance through a relationship. In my struggle with my sexuality, I do not want to seek comfort through ways which are not intended to be. I am SECURE IN CHRIST, nothing can change that, irregardless of how I feel or embarassing the situation is.

Looking forward to Japanese buffet tonight with family. Lord, give me the sensitivity and courage to initiate the family to seek You together today.