Tuesday, 23 December 2008

2 weeks into my 'professional' life

It's been a humbling journey. I have swung from being confident in making a difference in work to fear of being a bad testimony.

Just yesterday, a colleague was teaching me how not to include certain things in emails so as not to reflect badly of the department. Also, am needing guidance on basic matters. M is willing to guide and help me, but I suspect I do not portray the outward competence of a PhD graduate. That is OK :)

Much of Christian talk surrounds worldiness, how people are after the wrong things in life and self-centered. This has caused a critical spirit in me and I have elevated myself, thinking that I am better because I have made a better choice and am not self-centered. However, dealing with more people in the office have opened my myopic eyes to realise that there is more love and care in the world than I thought.

In fact, according to Romans 2, the person whom I view as selfish is actually myself. Perhaps my way of dealing with my own ugliness is to project it unto others-an area I need to repent of and come back to God. I have no rights to judge or even condemn a person's actions or words, therefore there is no need to cast any opinions. I believe that would help me to be more at ease and joyful in the office.

Wednesday, 10 December 2008

Start of work!

December is a quiet time to start work as many people are not around. As much as I am prepared to go full string straight away, I suspect the initial pace will be slow. Am thankful for the car as it probably saves me 2 hours daily. My initial plan to take public transport first may have been me trying to be ‘legalistic’ in being thrifty and not fully appreciating God’s blessings. I thank God for a job which suits my interests and for a nice supervisor and colleagues.

It’s time to put into practice what’s in my head. Seeking the approval of God and not men (no excuse for bosses). Even though I have not started work work, I already feel the need to perform and examine my abilities, or worse, to pit them against others. What a curse of the flesh! However, I no longer live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit in Christ!

A recent flip on the CD player led me to Ps Edmund’s sermon on ‘Work’. I was reminded to excel in my work, like Daniel who came out tops in one of the most secular environments in the ancient world. I already caught myself looking at the watch yesterday towards the end of the day and that isn’t the right attitude, hehe. Lord, rid any sense of legalism if I spend much time on work, for it’s a calling as holy as serving in church or evangelism. In fact, there shouldn’t be any divide at all. Just as the Son is in the Father and I am in the Son, all that I do should be one. Beneath the problem of burn-out lies the issue of competence. Lord, grant me the humility to accept the level of performance in which I can give.

Will be interesting to see what I have learnt in the next few months.