Saturday, 10 November 2007

Authenticity (Hurts, Rejection)

Issue of authenticity, hurt and rejection has been an issue I am facing in my own life as well as others. One is literally crippled if he were to walk in hurt and rejection. It takes authenticity and for the spirit of God to do a spiritual excavation as I realise I have hurts and rejections which I often pass away. And ONLY through the cross can I walk in freedom and wholeness as Christ lives in me.

Have I fully embraced the sense of rejection when a girl I like tells me not to wait? I always tell myself, 'She has feelings, but now is not the right time', thus habouring hope which can be draining in the long run. Bottomline is, am I brave enough to accept a no for a no and not rationalise to prevent myself from being hurt? It's so easy to get caught in a whirlpool of own thoughts and miss out on the truth completely.

The recognition and attention I desire from others is something which is not obvious in my often expressionless exterior-but it lingers on the inside. It manfests itself in various ways when I fellowship with others, especially in large groups. The easy way out is to see myself better than everyone and simply brush my rejection aside. The hard way is to acknowledge my crippling self image and confess my need for God.

The identify I have in Christ is more valuable than anything else and if I do not view my self-worth according to my true identify, I am crippled. The tricky part is this-I may have lived out this truth many times before and truly live in God's power, but that does not necessarily mean I am living in the truth at this very moment.

It's so human to face hurts and rejections. I guess everyone faces it, but to different degrees. Being the critical me, perhaps I face it more than others. But comparison isn't the point. God's grace and love seem the sweetest whenever I acknowledge my pain and come before Him. He doesn't reject me. Jesus asked the Samaritian women to call her husband and come back (John 4:16). His intention wasn't to ask the women to literally bring the guy she is living with to come before Him (it didn't happen at all). He wanted the women to be honest and acknowledge her pain and shame so that He could restore her.

God comforted me through an earlier event in John 2 where Jesus drove the money changers out of the temple. In verse 20, He said 'Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days.' The Jews replied 'It has taken forty-six years to build this temple, and you are going to raise it in three days?'. The temple were to the Jews their way of worshipping God, years of religion and rituals. Similiar to how it took forty-six years to build that temple, often I feel my old ways are so prevalent and how can I ever be delivered from it. It's so assuring when Jesus said He will raise it in three days. He meant his body. I am in Christ and part of his body. I have been raised to new life through Jesus' resurrection and no matter how adament my old self seems, how can I live in it any longer as it is dead. Jesus took three days as compared to the old temple which took forty-six years to build.

I journey back to the cross again.

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