My time in Singapore continues to be fruitful in terms of maintaining the friendship between sec/JC mates and heart-to-heart sharing with parents and others. God is opening up my heart to the elderly in Singapore. Had a chat with a cleaner outside the lift and she felt self-pity that at her age, she still has to work because of the increase in the cost of living in Singapore. Also, another cleaning lady in a toilet who automatically struck up a conversation reminded me of how people can be lonely, especially in old ages.
And today, was provided the opportunitiy to be involved in distributing gift bags to the poor in Singapore (lowest few percent). They are living mostly in Kreta Ayer, Kim Seng and Bukit Merah. The place I was allocated to was literally next to where I previously lived. So...these people are given 290 every month by the government and they survive on food rations. Majority of them live alone in a single-room flat. 3-in-1, bedroom, living room, kitchen, all together. Their bed ranges from a single mattress on the floor to wooden planks. Many of them do not have a stove, only a rice cooker. They are basically surviving on bare essentials. Our task was to distribute the gift bags (with noodles, can food, rice, toothbrush) and to complete a survey about their living conditions and check if they have any urgent needs.
Do not think I have contributed or made much of a difference today. These people are very well taken care of by the Resident Committee there. The RC knows these people by name, their background and their needs. Main thing for today is opening my heart to see a side of Singapore which often fades in the material pursuit of many Singaporeans. Nothing beats personal witness of these people. Though it was a few hours, but the impressions it made upon my heart will stay and I hope they will remain.
My dad asked me about the possibilities of going back and give them more things. Material gifting, looking over their daily living are all helpful, but how can one ultimately make a difference in their lives. Even with shelter and food, many of these people remain in despair, aimless and lost. They need love. They need to know that there is hope in life beyond what they are experiencing. Hope which is found in the truth about themselves and the world, the gospel. Each life is precious and each one counts to God. Does God weep whenever one of them passes away?
Am particularly touched today by a friend's heart and no-nonscience attitude. Could see organisational skills and the ability to get things done, out from a sincere heart. It's my prayer that she would accept Christ one day and know the best way to help people. It's important to find friends with kindled hearts, a heart for people. It's something very valuable.
Lord, never let my heart be cold. Break my heart oh God for the sin in my life and for this world.
Saturday 29 December 2007
Sunday 23 December 2007
First 24hr back home
Today marks the second day since I came home. Been able to adjust to it well, probably because I have not been amongst the crowd yet :) Things at home are pretty much the same, except for the change of a few pieces of furniture. Was great to see my parents, although my first impression of seeing them was that they looked tired. Maybe it was the late arrival time in Singapore, but it's a reminder of what they have been through and the fact that life is difficult.
I eventually slept past 3am and woke up at 6am, unable to get back to sleep. This morning is similiar. Amazing thing is I feel so refreshed and awake! I have longed to be able to get up early and seek God in the quietness of the morning. It just makes a difference to everything. However, in the past months in UK, I have been unable to do that. Am glad I broke out of the cycle.
My grandma had a fall the day before and spent a day in the observation ward in NUH. Went to spend with time with her and aunts in the morning. It was a good time of catching up. I was encouraged by their light-heartedness. They have been through alot, each one of them with their own burdens to carry. Could see unity in my three aunts as they supported each other in a time where the extended family isn't as cohesive as before.
There was a secondary school gathering in the evening which was planned weeks ago whilst I was in UK. I thought it was appropriate to share about my experience in UK. I strongly felt God leading me to make it evangelistic and I have been praying for salvations that evening. Practising 'So you would come' by Hillsongs over the past two weeks on the guitar as to minister to people through it. God provided a nice venue and food despite the last-min preparations. Am really thankful for Meihua and Xiao ling who helped to contact everyone and accommodate last minute changes. Although 5 people could not make it in the end, but I am glad to see many familiar faces, some I have not seen for 10 years! (Elden, Meiling and Meijiao) During my testimony, I focused on two obvious signs in my life that God is real and working in me are, 'My attitude towards girls and sex' and 'My heart's desire for my life's calling/destination'. I got distracted during the sharing as some people appeared to be uinterested. I guess each time I put myself up front, it's learning more and more to focus on God, to simply be concerned for the audience of one and leave the rest of the audience to Him. I felt the time afterwards where I was singing some songs were really really bad. I had envisoned in my mind many times that people would be responsive and I thought the words spoke powerfully. However, I realise now that singing worship songs would be out of the comfort zone for them. Maybe I should have sung some Christmas songs. I actually picked 'Reason for the season', but I couldn't get the right key for that. Anyway, I trust that the lyrics spoke into their hearts.
All in all, there were no responds during the 'altar call'. The moment everything ended, I felt crushed in the sense that I didn't know whether God spoke to anyone of them. I have got over the dissapointments now and a sermon by Colin back in NCCC about praying for his father for 16 years for salvation encouraged me. It's not so much about how this one-time event went, but more about lifting them up regularly to God in prayer for our fight is against the rulers and authorities of this world. Two hearts that were certainly touched were Kelvin and his wife. They have a 6-7 month old son, smiley baby Steward, and they shared that it's their desire for him to have a religion. Their sending him to St. Hildas and have bought a place near the school. I told them that their love for their child is a glimpse of God's love for them and also the best thing they can provide for the child, especially wanting the child to come to faith is for them to know and be grounded in the truth themselves. I pray that God would bring this whole family to know Him, for Steward to be a true steward of God. It's been a good reminder that salvation belongs to God and ultimately it's about faith and obedience as compared to works in terms of ministry.
The whole day ended with a nice walk with my dad at 1am in the morning and a time of praying and sharing till 3am! One thing which was impressed upon my heart as he prayed was for God to use us as a whole family. A chord of 3 strands is not easily broken and I remember one of edmund's chan sermon, saying that it starts with the family. Family is to be placed above ministry. (1 Tim 3:4)
Man, if my remaining days in Singapore is similiar to my first 24 hrs, I would 'Peng san'! But God is amazing and it's wonderful to live for Him!
I eventually slept past 3am and woke up at 6am, unable to get back to sleep. This morning is similiar. Amazing thing is I feel so refreshed and awake! I have longed to be able to get up early and seek God in the quietness of the morning. It just makes a difference to everything. However, in the past months in UK, I have been unable to do that. Am glad I broke out of the cycle.
My grandma had a fall the day before and spent a day in the observation ward in NUH. Went to spend with time with her and aunts in the morning. It was a good time of catching up. I was encouraged by their light-heartedness. They have been through alot, each one of them with their own burdens to carry. Could see unity in my three aunts as they supported each other in a time where the extended family isn't as cohesive as before.
There was a secondary school gathering in the evening which was planned weeks ago whilst I was in UK. I thought it was appropriate to share about my experience in UK. I strongly felt God leading me to make it evangelistic and I have been praying for salvations that evening. Practising 'So you would come' by Hillsongs over the past two weeks on the guitar as to minister to people through it. God provided a nice venue and food despite the last-min preparations. Am really thankful for Meihua and Xiao ling who helped to contact everyone and accommodate last minute changes. Although 5 people could not make it in the end, but I am glad to see many familiar faces, some I have not seen for 10 years! (Elden, Meiling and Meijiao) During my testimony, I focused on two obvious signs in my life that God is real and working in me are, 'My attitude towards girls and sex' and 'My heart's desire for my life's calling/destination'. I got distracted during the sharing as some people appeared to be uinterested. I guess each time I put myself up front, it's learning more and more to focus on God, to simply be concerned for the audience of one and leave the rest of the audience to Him. I felt the time afterwards where I was singing some songs were really really bad. I had envisoned in my mind many times that people would be responsive and I thought the words spoke powerfully. However, I realise now that singing worship songs would be out of the comfort zone for them. Maybe I should have sung some Christmas songs. I actually picked 'Reason for the season', but I couldn't get the right key for that. Anyway, I trust that the lyrics spoke into their hearts.
All in all, there were no responds during the 'altar call'. The moment everything ended, I felt crushed in the sense that I didn't know whether God spoke to anyone of them. I have got over the dissapointments now and a sermon by Colin back in NCCC about praying for his father for 16 years for salvation encouraged me. It's not so much about how this one-time event went, but more about lifting them up regularly to God in prayer for our fight is against the rulers and authorities of this world. Two hearts that were certainly touched were Kelvin and his wife. They have a 6-7 month old son, smiley baby Steward, and they shared that it's their desire for him to have a religion. Their sending him to St. Hildas and have bought a place near the school. I told them that their love for their child is a glimpse of God's love for them and also the best thing they can provide for the child, especially wanting the child to come to faith is for them to know and be grounded in the truth themselves. I pray that God would bring this whole family to know Him, for Steward to be a true steward of God. It's been a good reminder that salvation belongs to God and ultimately it's about faith and obedience as compared to works in terms of ministry.
The whole day ended with a nice walk with my dad at 1am in the morning and a time of praying and sharing till 3am! One thing which was impressed upon my heart as he prayed was for God to use us as a whole family. A chord of 3 strands is not easily broken and I remember one of edmund's chan sermon, saying that it starts with the family. Family is to be placed above ministry. (1 Tim 3:4)
Man, if my remaining days in Singapore is similiar to my first 24 hrs, I would 'Peng san'! But God is amazing and it's wonderful to live for Him!
Thursday 6 December 2007
An earthly father's love
Phew...the end of a long day. Though tired, but I wish to journal down something which I gained from God today whilst it's still fresh.
"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!-Matt 7:9-11
This evening is Reason for the Season, an annual joint Christmas outreach by SR, CU and GVC. Was meant to be in the welcome team, arriving at 6pm, but ended up arriving at 8pm instead! Why???? Story goes back to sunday where I received a request from a friend in the same department. Got to know him and his family more this year and I am really appreciative of being able to share the gospel with him. I turned down his last few requests to drive to London to buy fish and celebrating his son's birthday at home because I am learning to say No and want to remain focus on my research. However, I said yes to this particular request which was to pick up his son, who is applying to go to Cambridge Uni and has had two interviews and an exam today. He told me that his son would really like to be picked up after the whole day. They stay in Louborough.
Practically speaking, it doesn't make any sense for me to drive all the way down to Cambridge just to pick up his son! But I saw it as an opportunity to spend time with him and his son in the car and deepen my relationship with them. Furthermore, I thought it would be a good opportunity to bring them to the Christmas concert if they were keen to go. Everything went fine and I enjoyed the time with my friend until I saw the jam in cambridge and we also had difficulty locating his son. My estimated time of 2 hours to travel back just in time for 6pm seemed more and more unreachable.
After we picked up his son, we probably took over half an hour just to get out of Cambridge. This is where the gist of the story comes....all the time while I was stuck in traffic, he was asking his son about the interviews and discussing the questions. I was fighting alot of thoughts in my mind. I literally felt being made used of. It felt like all he was concerned at that moment was how his son performed and didn't seem concerned about me who was getting desperate to have wings grow on my car to fly me back to Notts so I would not be late. I was reading the map and driving at the same time, trying to figure out the best way back. Was it really a wise decision to have agreed to help, and especially when the timing is so tight with the concert?
Well, I quickly re-affirmed myself and accepted the decision I made. What's more, I was beginning to see the situation in a different light. How deep the Father's love for us. How vast beyond all measure. An earthly father's love for his son was being demonstrated right there. It was impractical to drive all the way down to Cambridge, but what about a father's heart? On the way back, my friend's wife was preparing dinner for everyone and yet along the way, my friend bought KFC for his son. My heart was touched as I was reflecting over this and my critical thoughts of my friends slowly melted away. We are made in God's image and our love for our children is a faint reflection of the love our heavenly father has for us. Well, I am looking forward to the day where I personally experience this for myself. Am sure a buddy of mine can emphatise with this, haha.
As we were running late, I had the most natural excuse to persuade them to go to the concert. Afterall, I am the driver man and I was already running late. However, they were too tired and though I thought it would be a wasted opportunity, I will trust in God that He will touch them in His own way. So I decided to make a detour to send them home first.
Rob Steele, the speaker this evening, was speaking about God's love. I believe this is God speaking to me today. By the time I arrived at Beeston free church, I was already driving almost continuously for 6 hours. It was really refreshing to hear the choir and Rob's message. Was rather dissapointed by the few responses, but God definately worked through the event in His ways.
Putting the verse in context.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.-Matt 7:7-12
Am meditating upon the word 'So' in the last verse. Think there's something more than meets the eye in that. Any ideas anyone?
"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!-Matt 7:9-11
This evening is Reason for the Season, an annual joint Christmas outreach by SR, CU and GVC. Was meant to be in the welcome team, arriving at 6pm, but ended up arriving at 8pm instead! Why???? Story goes back to sunday where I received a request from a friend in the same department. Got to know him and his family more this year and I am really appreciative of being able to share the gospel with him. I turned down his last few requests to drive to London to buy fish and celebrating his son's birthday at home because I am learning to say No and want to remain focus on my research. However, I said yes to this particular request which was to pick up his son, who is applying to go to Cambridge Uni and has had two interviews and an exam today. He told me that his son would really like to be picked up after the whole day. They stay in Louborough.
Practically speaking, it doesn't make any sense for me to drive all the way down to Cambridge just to pick up his son! But I saw it as an opportunity to spend time with him and his son in the car and deepen my relationship with them. Furthermore, I thought it would be a good opportunity to bring them to the Christmas concert if they were keen to go. Everything went fine and I enjoyed the time with my friend until I saw the jam in cambridge and we also had difficulty locating his son. My estimated time of 2 hours to travel back just in time for 6pm seemed more and more unreachable.
After we picked up his son, we probably took over half an hour just to get out of Cambridge. This is where the gist of the story comes....all the time while I was stuck in traffic, he was asking his son about the interviews and discussing the questions. I was fighting alot of thoughts in my mind. I literally felt being made used of. It felt like all he was concerned at that moment was how his son performed and didn't seem concerned about me who was getting desperate to have wings grow on my car to fly me back to Notts so I would not be late. I was reading the map and driving at the same time, trying to figure out the best way back. Was it really a wise decision to have agreed to help, and especially when the timing is so tight with the concert?
Well, I quickly re-affirmed myself and accepted the decision I made. What's more, I was beginning to see the situation in a different light. How deep the Father's love for us. How vast beyond all measure. An earthly father's love for his son was being demonstrated right there. It was impractical to drive all the way down to Cambridge, but what about a father's heart? On the way back, my friend's wife was preparing dinner for everyone and yet along the way, my friend bought KFC for his son. My heart was touched as I was reflecting over this and my critical thoughts of my friends slowly melted away. We are made in God's image and our love for our children is a faint reflection of the love our heavenly father has for us. Well, I am looking forward to the day where I personally experience this for myself. Am sure a buddy of mine can emphatise with this, haha.
As we were running late, I had the most natural excuse to persuade them to go to the concert. Afterall, I am the driver man and I was already running late. However, they were too tired and though I thought it would be a wasted opportunity, I will trust in God that He will touch them in His own way. So I decided to make a detour to send them home first.
Rob Steele, the speaker this evening, was speaking about God's love. I believe this is God speaking to me today. By the time I arrived at Beeston free church, I was already driving almost continuously for 6 hours. It was really refreshing to hear the choir and Rob's message. Was rather dissapointed by the few responses, but God definately worked through the event in His ways.
Putting the verse in context.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.-Matt 7:7-12
Am meditating upon the word 'So' in the last verse. Think there's something more than meets the eye in that. Any ideas anyone?
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