God has led me to take the spiritual lead in drawing the family as a whole (w/o my brother at the moment) to worship Him. Two godly women have encouraged me to take up the role over the weekend. It has been a difficult challenge since I came back to Singapore 1.5 years ago. I was looking forward to praying, doing bible studies together as a family with my father taking up his God ordained role as the spiritual head. However, it has been a period of disappointment and frustration and I found myself accepting the status quo to the extend that I would find it weird if my father were to initiate a time of seeking the Lord together. However, due to a deterioration of my brother's condition, it has driven the family more to desperation in search of hope and answers. I believe the battle has to be won at home first and thus I had to step up in spite of how convicted I am in the father leading the family spiritually.
There was a breakthrough this evening. I suggested a time of worship at 9pm during dinner and my parents agreed. I was advised to lead the family through a time of verbal confession of sins. I had in mind James 5:16 where God desires for us to confess our sins to one another. However, I didn't want it to be so obvious and thus lead the bible study from James 5:13-16 instead. I asked my parents if any of the verse spoke to them and my mum said James 5:16. Praise the Lord! My dad shared how there was a lack of love in the family since many years ago. In fact when I was in primary school, my parents contemplated divorce before. It touched my heart to hear how my dad's spiritual eyes are open when a few days ago he was just sharing that he felt he has provided sufficient love for my brother and myself. I release forgiveness to my dad. I know he do love me dearly. During prayer, my mum prayed about being a poor wife, that's the first time I heard her saying such things. She actually seldom say anything good about my dad. Wow, when God breaks in, it's just so wonderful. I realise that asking direct questions does not help at all. This kind of work belongs only to the Lord. I am not the Messiah! There were tears in my mum's eyes when we ended the prayer. Actually I should have allowed for more time for ministry. But it's alright. God is in control :)
My dad read some verses from John 1 about darkness and how light shines through. During my personal prayers in the evening, I saw the image of dark clouds and realise that it relates to the verses my dad shared! I told my parents that I believe a dark cloud is covering our family at the moment, but I also saw clear skies breaking through. I shared that prayer is a weapon in which the light will burst through. It's pretty cool, I am indeed learning and experiencing that impressions in my heart and even imagery are from the God. I claim them by faith!
Well, this is just the beginning and I do pray that our family will learn how to gain the victory which we already have in Christ Jesus. God has such great plans for my family.
Hallelujah!
Sunday 28 February 2010
Monday 1 February 2010
Nothing to prove
Adapted from Mentoring Paradigms (by Rev Ps Edmund Chan)
"Nothing to prove is a state of deep security in God
Nothing to lose is a state of absolute surrender to God
Nothing to hide is a state of true integrity before God"
During the last zone mentoring on 30th Jan, Tony asked us to reflect upon these 3 questions. I realised that "Nothing to prove" was what I desperately needed to grow in. I listed 3 areas for myself
1) Prove my spirituality to others
2) Prove my concern to others
"...We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts." - 1 The 2:4
"...We were not looking for praise from men, not from you or anyone else" - 1 The 2:6
God, help me to build a deep security in You to forsake the temptation and pleasures of seeking praise from man. Praise from men is cheap! Tiger Woods lost years of reputation and respect through one silly mistake (one which I could make myself). Praise from men is temporal and conditional, even within the body of Christ. Satan rides on our pride to use minor arguments to divide the church.
Seeking balance, we are not to be indifferent and isolated from others as well. God has called us to live and grow in a community. We are meant to show concern and encourage others. How do we discern between an inside-out concern and an exterior concern?
During the zone mentoring, my heart was impressed upon by the defining attribute of God's joy in one's service. Perhaps it reveals one's posture as well. If I practice my spirituality and love others in a way pleasing to God, I believe there would be joy in my heart. However, if I were to do likewise with a sense of duty and obligation, my hands may be clenched and there is an attitude of seriousness. I suddendly remember Ps Edmund shared once that he looked for that joy in God's servant. Many people can serve, but how many serve with a deep sense of joy.
God impressed upon my heart a verse during QT and later again during a sermon in the car.
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."-James 1:2-4
In the midst of a trial my family is facing, this verse really spoke into my life. This trial sometimes already feel beyond what I can bear, yet I am supposed to count it as joy?? This is just revolutionary...
Thus, two areas I desire to uncover the truth and reap the benefits from: 1) Joy from service and 2) Joy from trials.
"Nothing to prove is a state of deep security in God
Nothing to lose is a state of absolute surrender to God
Nothing to hide is a state of true integrity before God"
During the last zone mentoring on 30th Jan, Tony asked us to reflect upon these 3 questions. I realised that "Nothing to prove" was what I desperately needed to grow in. I listed 3 areas for myself
1) Prove my spirituality to others
2) Prove my concern to others
"...We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts." - 1 The 2:4
"...We were not looking for praise from men, not from you or anyone else" - 1 The 2:6
God, help me to build a deep security in You to forsake the temptation and pleasures of seeking praise from man. Praise from men is cheap! Tiger Woods lost years of reputation and respect through one silly mistake (one which I could make myself). Praise from men is temporal and conditional, even within the body of Christ. Satan rides on our pride to use minor arguments to divide the church.
Seeking balance, we are not to be indifferent and isolated from others as well. God has called us to live and grow in a community. We are meant to show concern and encourage others. How do we discern between an inside-out concern and an exterior concern?
During the zone mentoring, my heart was impressed upon by the defining attribute of God's joy in one's service. Perhaps it reveals one's posture as well. If I practice my spirituality and love others in a way pleasing to God, I believe there would be joy in my heart. However, if I were to do likewise with a sense of duty and obligation, my hands may be clenched and there is an attitude of seriousness. I suddendly remember Ps Edmund shared once that he looked for that joy in God's servant. Many people can serve, but how many serve with a deep sense of joy.
God impressed upon my heart a verse during QT and later again during a sermon in the car.
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."-James 1:2-4
In the midst of a trial my family is facing, this verse really spoke into my life. This trial sometimes already feel beyond what I can bear, yet I am supposed to count it as joy?? This is just revolutionary...
Thus, two areas I desire to uncover the truth and reap the benefits from: 1) Joy from service and 2) Joy from trials.
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