Key take-aways from my 4th BTW at Palm Resorts (JB), Nov 2010:
1) Work for God is not to be a spiritual front but an outflow of a rich intimacy with God and in response to what God has already done first.
2) Realised my need to journey along with peers and resolved to take a decisive action to find one.
3) There is a danger of living in my own words, good in giving advice and wrongly assuming that I am living it out.
4) God of the "Even now". Joel 2:12-14
I have heard before that a lone ranger is a dead ranger. But I never saw myself as a lone ranger until this BTW. I had mentors I could go to for advise, brothers I fellowship with, my previous DG group. I know people in church. However, while all these should have a place in my life, I realise I do not have a peer who knows me intimately and my current journey. I have tried to be accountable to brothers before but it stops after a while. I pray for God to find me such brothers to journey along for the whole distance ahead. This is especially important as I am based overseas most of my time now and have put a hold to my IDT.
I have been exposed to Men-In-Covenant for two years now. However, it's only over this BTW where I begin to experience and catch the need of a men's ministry. We as men are more lonely than we look on the exterior. Amongst the leadership in MIC, I see the blessedness of journeying along with brothers. Leaders who embrace the confession of men, put an arm around them and pray with them. An authentic men's community is so powerful if we dare to open up and commit our time and efforts.
I was ministered to by God halfway through the BTW. My walk with God wasn't close when I started the BTW due to some distractions a week before. Although I wished I had remained more focused, but I learnt to journey along with brothers without having any deceptions that I am on a spiritual pedestal. I hope God did use me to minister to the brothers whom I prayed for.
I am thankful for my group. We broke the ice fast and there was a good mix of different characters. Some jokers and some more quiet like myself. I appreciated everyone's deep sharing and am encouraged by all our desires to draw closer to God. Hope that we can continue to journey along beyond the BTW.
Wednesday 1 December 2010
Saturday 13 November 2010
Direction in life
This is a response to a friend's sharing of how she intends to spend time to search for direction in life.
What are we to do with our lives comes from the deeper question of 'Who we are', our identity. Who we are determines what we do. A farmers grows crops while a doctor treats patients. There is a danger however in finding our identity in a job because jobs are not permanent. A doctor who loses his job will feel sad, but that does not mean he has got nothing to do in his live anymore. Our identity ultimately also cannot be found in the earthly names given to us. 'Andrew' will not provide the ultimate guidance for my life.
'Who we are' can ONLY be answered by FIRST answering the more important question of 'Whose we are'. This question will likely stir up negative responses in many people. 'WHAT! How can you say I belong to someone! I belong to myself! No one owns me, I am in control of my own life!' The human nature is such that we want to be in the center of our own lives. But is this the truth? The Christian truth teaches that God created us and we belong to Him. It would be interesting to research if other faith reveals a God who created them. Yes, we were brought into this earth through our mother's womb, but who created everything? There are many scientific evidence showing how life is unimaginably possible. If earth were a little closer or further from the sun, earth would be too warm or cold for any life to exist. The human body is the world's greatest wonder, the way it functions, it heals and its capability. Did all these happen by evolution, by chance or did a greater being created us all. Oh yes, and don't forget to take a look at the mountains....
So, the question to my dear friend would be, 'Do you believe that God created you?' or do you truly believe that you evolved from monkeys?
What are we to do with our lives comes from the deeper question of 'Who we are', our identity. Who we are determines what we do. A farmers grows crops while a doctor treats patients. There is a danger however in finding our identity in a job because jobs are not permanent. A doctor who loses his job will feel sad, but that does not mean he has got nothing to do in his live anymore. Our identity ultimately also cannot be found in the earthly names given to us. 'Andrew' will not provide the ultimate guidance for my life.
'Who we are' can ONLY be answered by FIRST answering the more important question of 'Whose we are'. This question will likely stir up negative responses in many people. 'WHAT! How can you say I belong to someone! I belong to myself! No one owns me, I am in control of my own life!' The human nature is such that we want to be in the center of our own lives. But is this the truth? The Christian truth teaches that God created us and we belong to Him. It would be interesting to research if other faith reveals a God who created them. Yes, we were brought into this earth through our mother's womb, but who created everything? There are many scientific evidence showing how life is unimaginably possible. If earth were a little closer or further from the sun, earth would be too warm or cold for any life to exist. The human body is the world's greatest wonder, the way it functions, it heals and its capability. Did all these happen by evolution, by chance or did a greater being created us all. Oh yes, and don't forget to take a look at the mountains....
So, the question to my dear friend would be, 'Do you believe that God created you?' or do you truly believe that you evolved from monkeys?
Friday 8 October 2010
Mentoring with S
I was frustrated.
I realised that the voice recording failed after spending time with a mentor.
I knew that the deep revelations grasped is more important than trying to capture all factual knowledge recorded. The failed recording proved to be a test. Now, I am convinced that deep insights were deposited despite failing to capture the well-crafted statements by 'Wu-Guai'. An engineer can never beat a lawyer!
Here's me digesting these insights:
1. Isa 40:27-31. 3 truths: God knows. God cares. God is in control.
2. The definition of efficacy provides a useful framework to evaluate and make choices. "doing the right thing at the right time in the right way with the right motive to produce the right result". Some things may be right but not at the right time or done with the right motive. Order matters here. Also, the timing aspect is where many of us are challenged.
2. We access our situations and weigh our choices with much pragmatism. Often, it's not the eventual result, but how we are moulded that matters most to God. God is in control of every outcome and He works everything out for the good of those who love him. The way we respond to situations and considerations we use in our choices reflect what's within us. A husband who says to his wife 'You bring out the worst in me' is absolutely right! When God aligns our inner posture according to His perfect will, often the former external weightings will change too.
3. Balance. The importance for balance is stressed by many. However, does it always mean having the pivot at the center? If there is imbalance to start with, the pivot should start at the other end and not at the center.
4. Obedience. The heart is deceitful above all else. There is the possibility that our motive for obedience is to put us in a place to want something from God. God cannot be fooled. Our basis for obedience has to arise from a desire to worship God and honor Him for all that He has done.
I realised that the voice recording failed after spending time with a mentor.
I knew that the deep revelations grasped is more important than trying to capture all factual knowledge recorded. The failed recording proved to be a test. Now, I am convinced that deep insights were deposited despite failing to capture the well-crafted statements by 'Wu-Guai'. An engineer can never beat a lawyer!
Here's me digesting these insights:
1. Isa 40:27-31. 3 truths: God knows. God cares. God is in control.
2. The definition of efficacy provides a useful framework to evaluate and make choices. "doing the right thing at the right time in the right way with the right motive to produce the right result". Some things may be right but not at the right time or done with the right motive. Order matters here. Also, the timing aspect is where many of us are challenged.
2. We access our situations and weigh our choices with much pragmatism. Often, it's not the eventual result, but how we are moulded that matters most to God. God is in control of every outcome and He works everything out for the good of those who love him. The way we respond to situations and considerations we use in our choices reflect what's within us. A husband who says to his wife 'You bring out the worst in me' is absolutely right! When God aligns our inner posture according to His perfect will, often the former external weightings will change too.
3. Balance. The importance for balance is stressed by many. However, does it always mean having the pivot at the center? If there is imbalance to start with, the pivot should start at the other end and not at the center.
4. Obedience. The heart is deceitful above all else. There is the possibility that our motive for obedience is to put us in a place to want something from God. God cannot be fooled. Our basis for obedience has to arise from a desire to worship God and honor Him for all that He has done.
Thursday 7 October 2010
Where are the best lessons?
It's weird.
We learn best through difficult times.
It's another paradox as to how the road of suffering often bears bitter-sweet experiences. Bitter while walking through it, but sweet at the end of each lesson.
These difficult journeys could take the form of challenging family/work situations, personal times of depression or wilderness and consequences of sin, to name a few.
They amplify the limitations of human efforts, harsh realities of the world we live in and our own sinfulness. Amazingly, we are led to a place of beauty if we atune rightly. It's a highway towards God's grace, comfort and power when we find our bearing. Paul boldly declared that God's power was made perfect in his weaknesses. Praise arising from such valley experiences can be more wholesome than elsewhere. Being fully convinced of God's love and the cross helps tear down defenses and take our first step on this highway.
Yet often we base our analysis and thoughts on finding the best and easiest way. Is this efficacious? In the midst of difficult situations or crossroads, we look for a solution. Actually, it's not answers, but GOD we need.
We learn best through difficult times.
It's another paradox as to how the road of suffering often bears bitter-sweet experiences. Bitter while walking through it, but sweet at the end of each lesson.
These difficult journeys could take the form of challenging family/work situations, personal times of depression or wilderness and consequences of sin, to name a few.
They amplify the limitations of human efforts, harsh realities of the world we live in and our own sinfulness. Amazingly, we are led to a place of beauty if we atune rightly. It's a highway towards God's grace, comfort and power when we find our bearing. Paul boldly declared that God's power was made perfect in his weaknesses. Praise arising from such valley experiences can be more wholesome than elsewhere. Being fully convinced of God's love and the cross helps tear down defenses and take our first step on this highway.
Yet often we base our analysis and thoughts on finding the best and easiest way. Is this efficacious? In the midst of difficult situations or crossroads, we look for a solution. Actually, it's not answers, but GOD we need.
Sunday 15 August 2010
Love, not trust people
Recently, I was caught in the middle of a complex situation at work. Much time and energy was spent in second-guessing people, figuring out the other party's plot and plotting on my side too.
It's a situation where you think you're right and everyone else is being unreasonable. Truth is, I personally have been inconsistent myself and have not been completely honest all the time. Furthermore, I can never put myself completely in someone else's shoes. Perhaps nobody has the intent to cause harm to the project and they simply view the whole situation through a different lens. I then have to be careful that I do not enforce my own pair of lens onto other people's eye.
Being suspicious of people causes one to be on guard and it's draining. Trust is such an important aspect of relationships. Contrary to outward appearances, I suspect many people find it hard to completely trust someone. Due to self-centeredness, we are all inclined to put ourselves first.
After some wrestling with the situation, I found a useful insight. Ultimately, I should trust God and love people. Only God is unchanging and I can trust that He has best intentions for me. Loving people through God's mercy and grace allows me to build a genuine relationship with them despite any suspicion or criticism I have. Afterall, we are all fallen and rely on God's mercy and grace.
It's a situation where you think you're right and everyone else is being unreasonable. Truth is, I personally have been inconsistent myself and have not been completely honest all the time. Furthermore, I can never put myself completely in someone else's shoes. Perhaps nobody has the intent to cause harm to the project and they simply view the whole situation through a different lens. I then have to be careful that I do not enforce my own pair of lens onto other people's eye.
Being suspicious of people causes one to be on guard and it's draining. Trust is such an important aspect of relationships. Contrary to outward appearances, I suspect many people find it hard to completely trust someone. Due to self-centeredness, we are all inclined to put ourselves first.
After some wrestling with the situation, I found a useful insight. Ultimately, I should trust God and love people. Only God is unchanging and I can trust that He has best intentions for me. Loving people through God's mercy and grace allows me to build a genuine relationship with them despite any suspicion or criticism I have. Afterall, we are all fallen and rely on God's mercy and grace.
Wednesday 16 June 2010
Hiding behind spirituality
Josh Mcdowell said the following at the Men's conference in May, "Men, don't hide behind spirituality to cover your wounded self". That, along with many reflections recently made me realize that I could be using spirituality as a cover for different areas.
I find myself very enthusiastic and energetic whenever I talk about spiritual issues. However, often when it comes to other conversations outside faith and church, I do not display the usual confidence. In fact, an ex-colleague once commented that I seem to be cold about many things.
Do I only find my confidence when I hide behind spirituality? It's easy to sound right when one has mastered the Christian lingo. Have I used spirituality to sound right and cover up my inadequacies and emotions within? It's a scary thought.
If that is true, what am I hiding from? Maybe a sense of inadequacy or rejection causes me to strive to give the right answer and put up false fronts.
I am learning how to be human. I don't need to overdo it and spiritualise everything. I simply need to rest upon the truth that God knows everything and He is in control. I want to learn how to just chill.
I find myself very enthusiastic and energetic whenever I talk about spiritual issues. However, often when it comes to other conversations outside faith and church, I do not display the usual confidence. In fact, an ex-colleague once commented that I seem to be cold about many things.
Do I only find my confidence when I hide behind spirituality? It's easy to sound right when one has mastered the Christian lingo. Have I used spirituality to sound right and cover up my inadequacies and emotions within? It's a scary thought.
If that is true, what am I hiding from? Maybe a sense of inadequacy or rejection causes me to strive to give the right answer and put up false fronts.
I am learning how to be human. I don't need to overdo it and spiritualise everything. I simply need to rest upon the truth that God knows everything and He is in control. I want to learn how to just chill.
Sunday 28 February 2010
Best family worship ever!
God has led me to take the spiritual lead in drawing the family as a whole (w/o my brother at the moment) to worship Him. Two godly women have encouraged me to take up the role over the weekend. It has been a difficult challenge since I came back to Singapore 1.5 years ago. I was looking forward to praying, doing bible studies together as a family with my father taking up his God ordained role as the spiritual head. However, it has been a period of disappointment and frustration and I found myself accepting the status quo to the extend that I would find it weird if my father were to initiate a time of seeking the Lord together. However, due to a deterioration of my brother's condition, it has driven the family more to desperation in search of hope and answers. I believe the battle has to be won at home first and thus I had to step up in spite of how convicted I am in the father leading the family spiritually.
There was a breakthrough this evening. I suggested a time of worship at 9pm during dinner and my parents agreed. I was advised to lead the family through a time of verbal confession of sins. I had in mind James 5:16 where God desires for us to confess our sins to one another. However, I didn't want it to be so obvious and thus lead the bible study from James 5:13-16 instead. I asked my parents if any of the verse spoke to them and my mum said James 5:16. Praise the Lord! My dad shared how there was a lack of love in the family since many years ago. In fact when I was in primary school, my parents contemplated divorce before. It touched my heart to hear how my dad's spiritual eyes are open when a few days ago he was just sharing that he felt he has provided sufficient love for my brother and myself. I release forgiveness to my dad. I know he do love me dearly. During prayer, my mum prayed about being a poor wife, that's the first time I heard her saying such things. She actually seldom say anything good about my dad. Wow, when God breaks in, it's just so wonderful. I realise that asking direct questions does not help at all. This kind of work belongs only to the Lord. I am not the Messiah! There were tears in my mum's eyes when we ended the prayer. Actually I should have allowed for more time for ministry. But it's alright. God is in control :)
My dad read some verses from John 1 about darkness and how light shines through. During my personal prayers in the evening, I saw the image of dark clouds and realise that it relates to the verses my dad shared! I told my parents that I believe a dark cloud is covering our family at the moment, but I also saw clear skies breaking through. I shared that prayer is a weapon in which the light will burst through. It's pretty cool, I am indeed learning and experiencing that impressions in my heart and even imagery are from the God. I claim them by faith!
Well, this is just the beginning and I do pray that our family will learn how to gain the victory which we already have in Christ Jesus. God has such great plans for my family.
Hallelujah!
There was a breakthrough this evening. I suggested a time of worship at 9pm during dinner and my parents agreed. I was advised to lead the family through a time of verbal confession of sins. I had in mind James 5:16 where God desires for us to confess our sins to one another. However, I didn't want it to be so obvious and thus lead the bible study from James 5:13-16 instead. I asked my parents if any of the verse spoke to them and my mum said James 5:16. Praise the Lord! My dad shared how there was a lack of love in the family since many years ago. In fact when I was in primary school, my parents contemplated divorce before. It touched my heart to hear how my dad's spiritual eyes are open when a few days ago he was just sharing that he felt he has provided sufficient love for my brother and myself. I release forgiveness to my dad. I know he do love me dearly. During prayer, my mum prayed about being a poor wife, that's the first time I heard her saying such things. She actually seldom say anything good about my dad. Wow, when God breaks in, it's just so wonderful. I realise that asking direct questions does not help at all. This kind of work belongs only to the Lord. I am not the Messiah! There were tears in my mum's eyes when we ended the prayer. Actually I should have allowed for more time for ministry. But it's alright. God is in control :)
My dad read some verses from John 1 about darkness and how light shines through. During my personal prayers in the evening, I saw the image of dark clouds and realise that it relates to the verses my dad shared! I told my parents that I believe a dark cloud is covering our family at the moment, but I also saw clear skies breaking through. I shared that prayer is a weapon in which the light will burst through. It's pretty cool, I am indeed learning and experiencing that impressions in my heart and even imagery are from the God. I claim them by faith!
Well, this is just the beginning and I do pray that our family will learn how to gain the victory which we already have in Christ Jesus. God has such great plans for my family.
Hallelujah!
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