It's has not been easy in the past few weeks as I am settling back home. I have been impatient and critical with my parents and brother. Also, before I got called for an interview with DSO, I felt aimless at times when I was at home lazing around and spending alot of time watching Olympics. I am one who do not like to sit around and do nothing, even if it means resting.
It's better now and I am also learning to be more patient with my parents. God is also starting to break through into my parent's lives and I pray that they will break with hinderances in their lives.
This verse came to mind as I am writing this.
"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth." - Psa 46:10
Lord, in my rush to make more effective use of time, help me to be still and know you are God.
Saturday 30 August 2008
Tuesday 5 August 2008
A new beginning in Covenant with dawn prayers
Just two weeks after returning to Singapore, I have firmed up my decision to worship at Covenant Evangelical Free Church. I am thankful that God has confirmed my initial inclination to choose this church over the church (Grace Assembly) which my parents worship at.
First heard of this church when the senior pastor, Edmund Chan, conducted an Intentional Discipleship Making Conference in UK in Jan 2007. My first time to the church center in Bukit Panjiang was in June 2008 when I was back in Singapore for a holiday. God already started to speak to me about making Covenant my spiritual home.
When I eventually returned to Singapore for good in mid July, I knew it was time to make a firm decision. My heart was torn because part of me wanted to worship at the same church as my parents as I wanted very much for us as a family to grow together spiritually. But I felt that Covenant is a place where I can build a deep foundation. After attending the service at Covenant on 27th July, I made the firm decision to settle in Covenant and told my parents about it. I am thankful that they are open to my decision, though I sensed that they would have liked me to stay at Grace Assembly. It was during that same service where I first heard about dawn prayers, where the church would gather together every morning for an entire week from 6am to 7:30am to pray. I was excited about this excellent opportunity to seek God at a deeper level and committed myself to it. It was also an opportunity to get my messed up bio clock right.
Came monday morning and I was actually 15min early despite only a few hours of sleep. It really felt strange, going to church at 5:45am! I was reminded of a verse I read the night before, '...these I will bring to my holy mountain and give them JOY in my house of prayer..' (Isa 56:7). I smiled at the ushers with a warm smile, and the Lord gave me joy as I entered His santuary. During worship, I shifted myself to the inner seats as the place was being filled. It was only after worship where I discovered that a couple (Donn and Meihua) who came to sit beside me were people whom I just met the day before. It was nice to pray with some familiar faces. Ps Edmund Chan shared about his burden that now is the season which Covenant is to be a witnessing church. I was so thankful for that! Witnessing has always been my heartbeat. It was very precious because God was assuring me of the choice I made about Covenant. It felt somewhat strange too. Though my heart resonated with the direction the church is intentionally advancing towards, I only knew a handful of people and I felt like a little fish in a brand new ocean. The service I attended in UK only had 20-30 people average. Later on in the afternoon, I received a text from Donn saying that my prayer spoke some things about decisions he and Meihua had to make. I seldom receive such feedback about the accuracy of my prayers and so I was pondering over how did it come about. In my heart, I heard the answer, 'Holy Spirit'. In my QT that night and next morning, bible verses and thoughts were anchored on the same subject, the Holy Spirit.
Tuesday. Although Ps Tony did not explicitly speak about the Holy Spirit, but it was centered on the areas enabled and empowered by the Holy Spirit. God spoke before man spoke. Prayed with Jeremy and Soon Tiang.
Wednesday. Ps Ann spoke about God security. I was surprised because I assumed that many there would have gone through breakthrough weekend, etc. Was reminded that this is an ongoing daily victory to be claimed. I started to see the continuity in the talks and appreciated the fact that God brought the church back to personal revival and not just the outward mobilisation of the church for witnessing. Prayed with Alvin and York Foong. 30th July was also my birthday and honestly, I was looking forward to a nice breakfast with someone I am starting to know better. But I was thankful that it didn't happen because I spent the morning with God in the balancony of the new place I shifted to.
Thursday. Again, transacted with God during dawn prayers. A day of divine appointments. Helped to clean the new center in Woodlands. Arrived 5 min late and my mop and vacumn cleaner caught the attention of a few, including Ps Tony who immediately assigned me to Ps Kai and a few others to the main santuary. There, I met Sharon, who helped me with IDMC registration. Danesh had his camera with him and one of my first words to him were 'Nice camera'. I shared that I recently purchased a DSLR and he asked me if I wanted to take some photographs on Sunday, not knowing that I was already intending to ask Ps Tony if he needed any photographers for Sunday. During a break, I sat down on a table where Ps Tony introduced me to May, Shawn, Angela and Shirley, saying that they are in his cell group. When I found out that they meet around my area, I immediately asked if I could join them. It was just a few days ago where I submitted a request at connections corners to be put in a cell around Potong Pasir. So the same day when I took my first step into the new center, I was given an opportunity to serve and a CG. Gave Ps Kai a lift home as he stayed only a few minutes away from me. I was deeply touched because as I was sharing about my brother, I could sense his sincere concern as my brother is going through depression. Before dropping him off, I asked him, 'Are you going for dawn prayers tomorrow?', with an intention of wanting to give him a lift. I realised how stupid it was to ask a pastor if he's going to church.
Friday. Before picking him up, I had the impression that Ps Kai would be speaking. During the journey, he was continously asking about me and my brother. He was thinking of people to introduce me to and he mentioned Sabastian Ku. As we got out of the lift walking towards the main santuary, lo and behold, Sabastian Ku was standing right there. We sat and prayed together during the whole service and I could sense a kindled spirit with him. He was submitting his PhD thesis that day and it's not usual that I meet another Singaporean with a 'Permanent Head Damage'. As I saw Ps Kai speaking on stage, I was so amazed. His mind was entirely on me and my brother even though he was going to share that morning. That afternoon, I volunteered to help collect some nametag holders from Suntec and transport some things from the office in Bukit Merah to Woodlands. The intent was to use my dad's car, but he was delayed and so I took public transport. When I arrived at the office, Jade Wong told me that she found someone with a car. While waiting, I made a trip to the toilet and said Hi to a guy in there. I later asked for his name and when I heard, 'Jason', I was reminded of this guy whom a friend (Valarie Quay) wanted to introduce to me. The story is that both of us, me and Jason, were supposed to send Val off at Changi airport some weeks back. Jason couldn't make it then. I was thinking, 'Haha, there is no escape for those whom God wants to connect.' Thankful for the dinner with Jason also. I 'dragged' a friend (Shawn) whom I had a dinner appointment with to the Woodlands center. He had just shared that he was afraid that being a Christian would be unfilial to his mum and during dinner, Jason brought up this point too without knowing Shawn's concerns.
Sat was the commissioning service for the new center in Woodlands. It was my privilege to be part of it. While queing for Bus 901 at the interchange, this middle aged guy wearing a shirt printed 'Cleaners' was standing in front of me. I assumed he had just finished his work and was heading home. I felt led to connect with him. Found out he is from China and he was very open and loud (which made heads turn). We sat together in the bus and we continued talking about his children, UK and US. The turning question was when I asked him where he stayed and he answered saying near a new church. I jumped onto that immediately and asked him whether he would like to go to that church. Then, I knew he was a Christian! He was already keen to attend the church and I passed him a mandarin flyer which had the times printed on it. Hope to see him again. The commissioning of the new center was a defining day for me also as I responded to God with regard to a struggle I have been having. There has been a sense of purpose and freedom since I made that response. Also, there was further assurance of an inclination I had towards someone whom I felt God was leading me to since GDOP.
I meant this entry to be concise, focusing on God's providence through one week. I realise all that I have experienced flows out of decisive obedience. Had I not made the firm decision about Covenant and attend the dawn prayers, last week would have been different. I would have missed out so much, maybe even the defining response on Sat. People are surprised by my commitment and availability despite being new to the church. The people may not be familiar at this moment, but God is and as God fills the church and lives in each one of His children, that's the foundation as I continue to settle in the church. I am deeply touched by the openess and welcoming spirit that is in the church.
First heard of this church when the senior pastor, Edmund Chan, conducted an Intentional Discipleship Making Conference in UK in Jan 2007. My first time to the church center in Bukit Panjiang was in June 2008 when I was back in Singapore for a holiday. God already started to speak to me about making Covenant my spiritual home.
When I eventually returned to Singapore for good in mid July, I knew it was time to make a firm decision. My heart was torn because part of me wanted to worship at the same church as my parents as I wanted very much for us as a family to grow together spiritually. But I felt that Covenant is a place where I can build a deep foundation. After attending the service at Covenant on 27th July, I made the firm decision to settle in Covenant and told my parents about it. I am thankful that they are open to my decision, though I sensed that they would have liked me to stay at Grace Assembly. It was during that same service where I first heard about dawn prayers, where the church would gather together every morning for an entire week from 6am to 7:30am to pray. I was excited about this excellent opportunity to seek God at a deeper level and committed myself to it. It was also an opportunity to get my messed up bio clock right.
Came monday morning and I was actually 15min early despite only a few hours of sleep. It really felt strange, going to church at 5:45am! I was reminded of a verse I read the night before, '...these I will bring to my holy mountain and give them JOY in my house of prayer..' (Isa 56:7). I smiled at the ushers with a warm smile, and the Lord gave me joy as I entered His santuary. During worship, I shifted myself to the inner seats as the place was being filled. It was only after worship where I discovered that a couple (Donn and Meihua) who came to sit beside me were people whom I just met the day before. It was nice to pray with some familiar faces. Ps Edmund Chan shared about his burden that now is the season which Covenant is to be a witnessing church. I was so thankful for that! Witnessing has always been my heartbeat. It was very precious because God was assuring me of the choice I made about Covenant. It felt somewhat strange too. Though my heart resonated with the direction the church is intentionally advancing towards, I only knew a handful of people and I felt like a little fish in a brand new ocean. The service I attended in UK only had 20-30 people average. Later on in the afternoon, I received a text from Donn saying that my prayer spoke some things about decisions he and Meihua had to make. I seldom receive such feedback about the accuracy of my prayers and so I was pondering over how did it come about. In my heart, I heard the answer, 'Holy Spirit'. In my QT that night and next morning, bible verses and thoughts were anchored on the same subject, the Holy Spirit.
Tuesday. Although Ps Tony did not explicitly speak about the Holy Spirit, but it was centered on the areas enabled and empowered by the Holy Spirit. God spoke before man spoke. Prayed with Jeremy and Soon Tiang.
Wednesday. Ps Ann spoke about God security. I was surprised because I assumed that many there would have gone through breakthrough weekend, etc. Was reminded that this is an ongoing daily victory to be claimed. I started to see the continuity in the talks and appreciated the fact that God brought the church back to personal revival and not just the outward mobilisation of the church for witnessing. Prayed with Alvin and York Foong. 30th July was also my birthday and honestly, I was looking forward to a nice breakfast with someone I am starting to know better. But I was thankful that it didn't happen because I spent the morning with God in the balancony of the new place I shifted to.
Thursday. Again, transacted with God during dawn prayers. A day of divine appointments. Helped to clean the new center in Woodlands. Arrived 5 min late and my mop and vacumn cleaner caught the attention of a few, including Ps Tony who immediately assigned me to Ps Kai and a few others to the main santuary. There, I met Sharon, who helped me with IDMC registration. Danesh had his camera with him and one of my first words to him were 'Nice camera'. I shared that I recently purchased a DSLR and he asked me if I wanted to take some photographs on Sunday, not knowing that I was already intending to ask Ps Tony if he needed any photographers for Sunday. During a break, I sat down on a table where Ps Tony introduced me to May, Shawn, Angela and Shirley, saying that they are in his cell group. When I found out that they meet around my area, I immediately asked if I could join them. It was just a few days ago where I submitted a request at connections corners to be put in a cell around Potong Pasir. So the same day when I took my first step into the new center, I was given an opportunity to serve and a CG. Gave Ps Kai a lift home as he stayed only a few minutes away from me. I was deeply touched because as I was sharing about my brother, I could sense his sincere concern as my brother is going through depression. Before dropping him off, I asked him, 'Are you going for dawn prayers tomorrow?', with an intention of wanting to give him a lift. I realised how stupid it was to ask a pastor if he's going to church.
Friday. Before picking him up, I had the impression that Ps Kai would be speaking. During the journey, he was continously asking about me and my brother. He was thinking of people to introduce me to and he mentioned Sabastian Ku. As we got out of the lift walking towards the main santuary, lo and behold, Sabastian Ku was standing right there. We sat and prayed together during the whole service and I could sense a kindled spirit with him. He was submitting his PhD thesis that day and it's not usual that I meet another Singaporean with a 'Permanent Head Damage'. As I saw Ps Kai speaking on stage, I was so amazed. His mind was entirely on me and my brother even though he was going to share that morning. That afternoon, I volunteered to help collect some nametag holders from Suntec and transport some things from the office in Bukit Merah to Woodlands. The intent was to use my dad's car, but he was delayed and so I took public transport. When I arrived at the office, Jade Wong told me that she found someone with a car. While waiting, I made a trip to the toilet and said Hi to a guy in there. I later asked for his name and when I heard, 'Jason', I was reminded of this guy whom a friend (Valarie Quay) wanted to introduce to me. The story is that both of us, me and Jason, were supposed to send Val off at Changi airport some weeks back. Jason couldn't make it then. I was thinking, 'Haha, there is no escape for those whom God wants to connect.' Thankful for the dinner with Jason also. I 'dragged' a friend (Shawn) whom I had a dinner appointment with to the Woodlands center. He had just shared that he was afraid that being a Christian would be unfilial to his mum and during dinner, Jason brought up this point too without knowing Shawn's concerns.
Sat was the commissioning service for the new center in Woodlands. It was my privilege to be part of it. While queing for Bus 901 at the interchange, this middle aged guy wearing a shirt printed 'Cleaners' was standing in front of me. I assumed he had just finished his work and was heading home. I felt led to connect with him. Found out he is from China and he was very open and loud (which made heads turn). We sat together in the bus and we continued talking about his children, UK and US. The turning question was when I asked him where he stayed and he answered saying near a new church. I jumped onto that immediately and asked him whether he would like to go to that church. Then, I knew he was a Christian! He was already keen to attend the church and I passed him a mandarin flyer which had the times printed on it. Hope to see him again. The commissioning of the new center was a defining day for me also as I responded to God with regard to a struggle I have been having. There has been a sense of purpose and freedom since I made that response. Also, there was further assurance of an inclination I had towards someone whom I felt God was leading me to since GDOP.
I meant this entry to be concise, focusing on God's providence through one week. I realise all that I have experienced flows out of decisive obedience. Had I not made the firm decision about Covenant and attend the dawn prayers, last week would have been different. I would have missed out so much, maybe even the defining response on Sat. People are surprised by my commitment and availability despite being new to the church. The people may not be familiar at this moment, but God is and as God fills the church and lives in each one of His children, that's the foundation as I continue to settle in the church. I am deeply touched by the openess and welcoming spirit that is in the church.
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