I thank God for the encouragement I have received tonight. Just this afternoon, I decided to extend my stay in UK until I have submitted my thesis. I have been in a hurry to go back home. I felt peace after I made the decision. This evening,
1)Got a reply from a youth saying that they are benefiting from the previous meetings and would like to continue
2)Spoke into a brother's bgr situation over MSN, we both felt that it was something God wanted to say to him
3)A brother got back to me after I shared with him about a need for a guy mentor in the mandarin group here and asked me to set up a meeting with Grace
4)A sister whom I wanted to visit for a long time was welcoming me to see her after a holiday in Scotland
Am glad I am staying for a while more. I felt God reaffirming my decision to stay through these little encounters this evening. Looking forward to visiting Leeds and London too.
During SR's retreat, the first talk was on the power of the obedient step and seeing how God flows when we take obedient steps. I think the first small steps out of the comfort zone are often the most difficult yet most critical ones. God spoke to me about confidence and renewing of mind through the retreat. Am experiencing victory in the battlefield of the mind. Much more grounds to be conqured.
The fellowship to Cornwall was great. The group was made up of different people, but of one club, the lame club, haha. To be simply oneself and crap in front of others is something precious. Thank God for the opportunity to know more people in a fun way. Weather was great and although I visited many places before, but it was a totally different experience. I still have memories of the trip last year and it wasn't so much of the place I remembered, but the people. I realise that despite being up front and looked up to in SR, we are all very human. Also, people, especially girls need to be led.
Monday, 31 March 2008
Saturday, 8 March 2008
More concrete plans
Am thankful for the past week. Have more concrete deadlines to work towards. On Mon, I had a meeting with my supervisors with an aim of nominating an external examiner. Usually, it takes time to wait for a reply and the most uncertain factor is how long does the external examiner take to read the thesis. The latest date for my viva had to be around mid May for me to graduate in summer. During the meeting, one of my supervisors, Nick, picked up the phone and after five minutes, an examiner was nominated and he said he was available 3rd week of May for the viva and needed the thesis end of April. Wow. Everything was sorted, with a comfortable time to finish up my thesis. God is good. I am truly amazed. Interestingly, two days ago before the meeting, I decided to firm up my plans to go for SR retreat and return to Singapore after that. Initially, I was in a rush to simply return to Singapore and there would not have been enough time to properly spend time with people here, SR included. Realise that as I honour God and take active steps in making plans, God directs the way.
I continue to open my heart to God's grace this week, to rid my heart of a self sense of what's right and wrong. Putting into my heart Romans 6, to know that my old self have died and I am a new creation in Christ, to walk in the Spirit. Also Eph 1, to know of the every spiritual blessings that God has given us in the heavenly realms. Powerful stuff. Recently also been thinking about a tendency to allow my mind to drift and that could contribute to my 'blurblurness' and short memory. So making an effort to catch those wandering moments and dwell on God's word.
Watched Syrian last night and there was a special feature which was entitled 'Making a difference' as well. Watched the trailor for 'Darfur Now' also and I broke down. Is it simply emotional or something which God has placed in my heart? Was surfing through jobs in the UN and realise that many of them require advanced degrees and work experience. Maybe it's not the immediate step ahead but something I will bear in mind. Definately have more time to read the news now. I felt God prompting about working for DSO, doing research for Singapore's defense, but I am not sure where would that lead me.
I continue to open my heart to God's grace this week, to rid my heart of a self sense of what's right and wrong. Putting into my heart Romans 6, to know that my old self have died and I am a new creation in Christ, to walk in the Spirit. Also Eph 1, to know of the every spiritual blessings that God has given us in the heavenly realms. Powerful stuff. Recently also been thinking about a tendency to allow my mind to drift and that could contribute to my 'blurblurness' and short memory. So making an effort to catch those wandering moments and dwell on God's word.
Watched Syrian last night and there was a special feature which was entitled 'Making a difference' as well. Watched the trailor for 'Darfur Now' also and I broke down. Is it simply emotional or something which God has placed in my heart? Was surfing through jobs in the UN and realise that many of them require advanced degrees and work experience. Maybe it's not the immediate step ahead but something I will bear in mind. Definately have more time to read the news now. I felt God prompting about working for DSO, doing research for Singapore's defense, but I am not sure where would that lead me.
Sunday, 24 February 2008
Birmingham Chinese Evangelical Church
Just back from a weekend away in Birmingham. Stayed with Ezra, Edith and Alethia. Know a few other people there too, and was especially thankful to be able to catch up with Kenneth again. Daniel, if you're reading this, you were mentioned and thought of!
Though short, but I was truly encouraged this weekend. It's a testimony of how God answers prayers (for a mentor) and divine appointments where authentic relationships are found through just meeting a few times.
Most things are caught and not taught. Am thankful for the opportunity to be in the midst of Ezra and Edith's family, to witness how they love and live with each other and cope with Alethia's situation. Conversations with them often surround other people with a true concern and otherness. Conversations can sometimes be about commenting on others, on personal weaknesses or difficult circumstances. But it's different with Ezra and Edith. Certainly caught the spirit of looking at what's good and right instead of dwelling on what's bad. There are enough people and our ownselves (as the main culprit) in being critical and the world needs more people to say positive things.
When I saw Kenneth, was reminded of God's goodness during my time in Boston. Knowing him and spending a few days with his family was a blessing. Though I didn't keep in touch with him much after I returned to UK, but I thank God for bringing him back to my thoughts and heart today.
Amongst the many things which I learned, God spoke powerfully to me through this verse:
1 John 3:19-20
'This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him.'
Beginning to renew my mind whenever I habour self-critical thoughts and am beginning to sense a breakthrough as I apply the truth that God knows everything and is greater than my heart! Repentance is about the renewing of mind. It started when Ezra shared about this issue after he prayed for me on Sat night and I continued to allow God to speak into my heart on Sunday and actively apply it.
Though short, but I was truly encouraged this weekend. It's a testimony of how God answers prayers (for a mentor) and divine appointments where authentic relationships are found through just meeting a few times.
Most things are caught and not taught. Am thankful for the opportunity to be in the midst of Ezra and Edith's family, to witness how they love and live with each other and cope with Alethia's situation. Conversations with them often surround other people with a true concern and otherness. Conversations can sometimes be about commenting on others, on personal weaknesses or difficult circumstances. But it's different with Ezra and Edith. Certainly caught the spirit of looking at what's good and right instead of dwelling on what's bad. There are enough people and our ownselves (as the main culprit) in being critical and the world needs more people to say positive things.
When I saw Kenneth, was reminded of God's goodness during my time in Boston. Knowing him and spending a few days with his family was a blessing. Though I didn't keep in touch with him much after I returned to UK, but I thank God for bringing him back to my thoughts and heart today.
Amongst the many things which I learned, God spoke powerfully to me through this verse:
1 John 3:19-20
'This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him.'
Beginning to renew my mind whenever I habour self-critical thoughts and am beginning to sense a breakthrough as I apply the truth that God knows everything and is greater than my heart! Repentance is about the renewing of mind. It started when Ezra shared about this issue after he prayed for me on Sat night and I continued to allow God to speak into my heart on Sunday and actively apply it.
Monday, 18 February 2008
Update
When you run the 400m, you make a last turn before you give it your all for the last straight sprint. I feel like I am just at the last turn in my Phd. Another intensive writing for 2 weeks and I can ease off while I wait for supervisors to read and make corrections after. Current plan is to return to Singapore on 10th March.
Updated CV and saw a career advisor today who was happy with my CV. Planning to send it off to DSO soon. I believe God spoke to me about DSO, so I will apply.
When I first came back from Singapore, it was on the subject of daily obedience. Recently the subject of relying on God's strength has been in my heart. How easy it can seem to be relying on God but in actual fact we are using Him instead. Relying on Him will cast away any anxiety. To deal with sin not with mere will power from our flesh, but live in victory because I am cleansed by His word. Woke up this morning to a fresh revelation of His grace after stumbling in a repeated sin.
Yesterday, Francis gave me a word, 'Stepping stone'. What's ahead is not an end by itself but a preparation for something bigger. I am still so young! Have to learn to be patient and not try to do too much too fast. It's a mixed feeling of excitment and uncertainty which causes me to simply trust God that He has already laid out the path for me.
Be blessed.
Updated CV and saw a career advisor today who was happy with my CV. Planning to send it off to DSO soon. I believe God spoke to me about DSO, so I will apply.
When I first came back from Singapore, it was on the subject of daily obedience. Recently the subject of relying on God's strength has been in my heart. How easy it can seem to be relying on God but in actual fact we are using Him instead. Relying on Him will cast away any anxiety. To deal with sin not with mere will power from our flesh, but live in victory because I am cleansed by His word. Woke up this morning to a fresh revelation of His grace after stumbling in a repeated sin.
Yesterday, Francis gave me a word, 'Stepping stone'. What's ahead is not an end by itself but a preparation for something bigger. I am still so young! Have to learn to be patient and not try to do too much too fast. It's a mixed feeling of excitment and uncertainty which causes me to simply trust God that He has already laid out the path for me.
Be blessed.
Wednesday, 6 February 2008
'Hidden agenda'
It's been almost a month since I returned to UK to complete my thesis. God has been good. Am more aware of how He watches over the little things in my life and answers prayers. My thesis writing have been smooth, feel like I am cutting corners in some areas, but I trust that there is sufficient material and that God would grant me success. Recently, Karen, another singaporean Phd student in economics passed her Viva (Well done Karen!). She was told that the Phd would be awarded at the start of the examination, which is not common even if the examiner already had such intentions. My first reaction was that 'God is so amazing!'. Was surprised at my own reaction, that I did not feel the least envious. I trust that my time would come in God's providence.
I just read something which sums up an area in my heart over the past weeks.
From 'Learning at the crossroads' from Neil Hood.
'Ambition is not the problem, but what fuels it and directs it can be. Sorting out the complexitiy of our motives is not easy because of the presence of sin. At best we are broken and flawed people under reconstruction. Even a short time spent in self-examination reveals that our intentions are seldom totally pure. It's then that our expertise in disguising our real ambition kicks in, often clothed in high-sounding and creative spiritual language.'
Without coming to a clear grasp that I can do NOTHING to become more 'Christian' and that it is solely through grace that I am all I am, my life will be hindered by fleshy toil leading to empty striving and totally missing out on God.
Learning how to intercede for people and pray for the world as I read more of the news. Man..it's just clicks away, got no excuse!
I just read something which sums up an area in my heart over the past weeks.
From 'Learning at the crossroads' from Neil Hood.
'Ambition is not the problem, but what fuels it and directs it can be. Sorting out the complexitiy of our motives is not easy because of the presence of sin. At best we are broken and flawed people under reconstruction. Even a short time spent in self-examination reveals that our intentions are seldom totally pure. It's then that our expertise in disguising our real ambition kicks in, often clothed in high-sounding and creative spiritual language.'
Without coming to a clear grasp that I can do NOTHING to become more 'Christian' and that it is solely through grace that I am all I am, my life will be hindered by fleshy toil leading to empty striving and totally missing out on God.
Learning how to intercede for people and pray for the world as I read more of the news. Man..it's just clicks away, got no excuse!
Friday, 11 January 2008
Creative evangelism
A recap of the opportunities I had to plant seeds through my time in Singapore. I realise with a little extra effort, evangelism can be made more relevant and interesting.
1) Morning of Christmas Day at MacRitchie reservoir. Was waiting for a friend while I saw two guys fishing. I asked them ,'Do you know that there is someone out there who is fishing for you?' and 'Have you heard of the phrase fishers of men in the bible?' Got to share with them about sin and the cross.
It turned out one of them is from St. Patricks sec school and so he has been exposed to Christianity since young. I reminded him that God is in pursuit of them. He was listening sincerely but it all ended quite abruptly because my friend arrived. I can but pray for him now.
2) Visit to the dentist, a young singaporean guy called Kenny. Got talking straight away as he was heading to germany and france soon so we were talking about the weather and of course, the condition of my teeth (which he was happy about :)). Didn't get to talk with him directly as he had to see the next patient almost immediately. However, I dropped him a thank you card in which I asked him, 'Do you know there is something in this world which resembles plague on teeth?'. Talked about how it keeps coming back despite our best efforts to clean it and how our sin can only throughly be cleansed by the Jesus' blood shed on the cross.
3) Hairdresser, a young malaysian lady called celine. My mum was with me so we were chatting about my studies in UK, etc. Managed to get them to laugh abit, saying how people do walk in UK while most people run about in Singapore. I asked her whether she thinks it is possible that there is someone who knows the exact number of hairs on her hair. She smiled and said no. I told her about how personal God is, how he cares for us and knows us intimately. Brief sharing.
All these were brief encounters and there were no visible signs of whether any difference were made, but I pray that seeds were planted and God would continue to reach out to them. But I realise that it's not difficult to try to relate God to the people whom we want to reach out to. Hopefully whenever the guy fishes, Kenny cleans the plague on someone else's teeth or Celine cuts another person's hair, they would all remember that God's eye is on them.
There were also occassions where I was wrestling to open my mouth. I.e. a electricity who came to service the meter, wanted to ask them whether he knows about the 'true source of energy in our lives'?. Also, the gas man who had the words printed on the back of his shirt 'Warming hearts in the city'. Can easily pop a question, 'Have you ever felt your heart truly warmed?', etc.
At the end of the day, it's obedience that God truly seeks. I can speak to a thousand people but continue to habour wicked thoughts. Let us be a repentant and obedient people :)
1) Morning of Christmas Day at MacRitchie reservoir. Was waiting for a friend while I saw two guys fishing. I asked them ,'Do you know that there is someone out there who is fishing for you?' and 'Have you heard of the phrase fishers of men in the bible?' Got to share with them about sin and the cross.
It turned out one of them is from St. Patricks sec school and so he has been exposed to Christianity since young. I reminded him that God is in pursuit of them. He was listening sincerely but it all ended quite abruptly because my friend arrived. I can but pray for him now.
2) Visit to the dentist, a young singaporean guy called Kenny. Got talking straight away as he was heading to germany and france soon so we were talking about the weather and of course, the condition of my teeth (which he was happy about :)). Didn't get to talk with him directly as he had to see the next patient almost immediately. However, I dropped him a thank you card in which I asked him, 'Do you know there is something in this world which resembles plague on teeth?'. Talked about how it keeps coming back despite our best efforts to clean it and how our sin can only throughly be cleansed by the Jesus' blood shed on the cross.
3) Hairdresser, a young malaysian lady called celine. My mum was with me so we were chatting about my studies in UK, etc. Managed to get them to laugh abit, saying how people do walk in UK while most people run about in Singapore. I asked her whether she thinks it is possible that there is someone who knows the exact number of hairs on her hair. She smiled and said no. I told her about how personal God is, how he cares for us and knows us intimately. Brief sharing.
All these were brief encounters and there were no visible signs of whether any difference were made, but I pray that seeds were planted and God would continue to reach out to them. But I realise that it's not difficult to try to relate God to the people whom we want to reach out to. Hopefully whenever the guy fishes, Kenny cleans the plague on someone else's teeth or Celine cuts another person's hair, they would all remember that God's eye is on them.
There were also occassions where I was wrestling to open my mouth. I.e. a electricity who came to service the meter, wanted to ask them whether he knows about the 'true source of energy in our lives'?. Also, the gas man who had the words printed on the back of his shirt 'Warming hearts in the city'. Can easily pop a question, 'Have you ever felt your heart truly warmed?', etc.
At the end of the day, it's obedience that God truly seeks. I can speak to a thousand people but continue to habour wicked thoughts. Let us be a repentant and obedient people :)
Wednesday, 9 January 2008
Is my sacrifice living?
Taken from daily devotions, 'My utmost for his highest' by Oswald chambers.
Jan 8
'Abraham built an altar...; and he bound Isaac his son and laid him on the altar...' - Gen 22:9
This event is a picture of the mistake we make in thinking that the ultimate God wants of us is the sacrifice of death. What God wants is the sacrifice through death which enables us to do what Jesus did, that is, sacrifice our lives. Not-"Lord, I am ready to go with You...to death" (Luke 22:33). But-"I am willing to be identified with your death so that I may sacrifice my life to God."
We seem to think that God wants us to give up things! God purified Abraham from this error, and the same process is at work in our lives. God never tells us to give up things just for the sake of giving them up, but He tells us to give them up for the sake of the only thing worth having, namely, life with Himself. It is a matter of loosening the bands that hold back our lives. Those bands are loosened immediately by identification with the death of jesus. Then we enter into a relationship with God whereby we may sacrifice our lives to Him.
It is of no value to God to give Him your life for death. He wants you to be a 'living sacrifice'-to let Him have all your strengths that have been saved and sanctified through Jesus (Rm 12:1). This is what is acceptable to God.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
So often, my mindset is what I can do for God. But God demands obedience (Jeh 7:22-23) and a contrite heart (Psa 51:15-17). I do not feel entirely comfortable with luxuries of life and if I one day have wealth, I feel that I must give it away. From reading this devotion, I realise that I may have been habouring a wrong attitude. It's not so much about the sacrifice, but more about being a 'living sacrifice'. That means that it's more pleasing to God to not follow the evil imaginations of my heart (obedience) than to give up an entire fortune (sacrifice).
Am more and more convinced that God listens to the whispers of our heart. Just recently, I was wondering whether I would be able to see a cleaning lady whom I met when I first came back. Lo and behold, today while leaving for lunch with my parents, there she was. She was pleasantly surprised when I recognised her and she held on to my hand with a warm affection. Praise God.
Jan 8
'Abraham built an altar...; and he bound Isaac his son and laid him on the altar...' - Gen 22:9
This event is a picture of the mistake we make in thinking that the ultimate God wants of us is the sacrifice of death. What God wants is the sacrifice through death which enables us to do what Jesus did, that is, sacrifice our lives. Not-"Lord, I am ready to go with You...to death" (Luke 22:33). But-"I am willing to be identified with your death so that I may sacrifice my life to God."
We seem to think that God wants us to give up things! God purified Abraham from this error, and the same process is at work in our lives. God never tells us to give up things just for the sake of giving them up, but He tells us to give them up for the sake of the only thing worth having, namely, life with Himself. It is a matter of loosening the bands that hold back our lives. Those bands are loosened immediately by identification with the death of jesus. Then we enter into a relationship with God whereby we may sacrifice our lives to Him.
It is of no value to God to give Him your life for death. He wants you to be a 'living sacrifice'-to let Him have all your strengths that have been saved and sanctified through Jesus (Rm 12:1). This is what is acceptable to God.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
So often, my mindset is what I can do for God. But God demands obedience (Jeh 7:22-23) and a contrite heart (Psa 51:15-17). I do not feel entirely comfortable with luxuries of life and if I one day have wealth, I feel that I must give it away. From reading this devotion, I realise that I may have been habouring a wrong attitude. It's not so much about the sacrifice, but more about being a 'living sacrifice'. That means that it's more pleasing to God to not follow the evil imaginations of my heart (obedience) than to give up an entire fortune (sacrifice).
Am more and more convinced that God listens to the whispers of our heart. Just recently, I was wondering whether I would be able to see a cleaning lady whom I met when I first came back. Lo and behold, today while leaving for lunch with my parents, there she was. She was pleasantly surprised when I recognised her and she held on to my hand with a warm affection. Praise God.
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