One advantage of 'shaking legs' at home is that I can blog more often. Also a way of journaling how God is helping me to settle down in Covenant.
The months/weeks I thought I would need to settle down in Covenant has been expedited by God (Eph 3:20). Just today alone I found a CG group and was given an opportunity to serve in the opening service for Woodlands. All these came about simply from volunteering to help in cleaning the new building.
Since the morning, I had planned to ask Ps Tony whether the church needs any photographers for Sunday. While cleaning, I was assigned to Ps Chung Kai (whom I got acquainted) and also Danesh who is a professional photographer. Told him I just bought a DSLR recently and a while later he asked if I wanted to help out this Sunday. Wasn't difficult to give him an answer as it was in my heart already.
During a drink break, I sat on a table where most people come from a CG group meeting in hougang/serangoon area. Just on sunday, I asked for a CG group near Potong Pasir area. I felt led to ask if I could join the group. Looking forward to my first meeting with them. It's amazing how just after a few days since I made the decision on Covenant, God is leading the way!
Met Sharon also, who helped me and my dad get a place in IDMC, which I am very thankful for! Gained an insight while cleaning the main doors, which had many groves in it. It takes time and effort to wipe away the dust along the groves. Similiar to spiritual cleansing, what God is doing in a believer's life. Also, the sunlight would also reveal more dust which wasn't visible before.
God is speaking to me about community. Even after a morning spent in 'cleaning fellowship', I felt lifted up. Gave cards naturally to the stall owners whom I bought noodles and fruits from.
To all my brothers and sisters in UK, hope you're getting on fine. My journey in UK has been a precious one :)
Thursday, 31 July 2008
Wednesday, 30 July 2008
28th Birthday
Lord, I specially dedicate my 28th birthday morning to you. Thanking you for my past (even before I knew you) present and future experiences, shaping and working in me to fulfill Your INTENDED purposes in me. You saved my life twice physically (more that I am unaware I am sure) and there was an exchange on the cross where you have given me an ETERNAL abundant life through my faith in You.
After dawn prayers this morning, I thought of pampering myself to some nice breakfast by some nice scenary and spend time with God. Flipped open the street directory and saw the Zoo, but unfortunately it requires entry admission. Thought of East coast park, but it was too far. There wasn't much of a choice and I wasn't familiar with the West so I decided to head back to my new home. Spent the morning instead up in the balcony (it's a penthouse) spending time with God and catching up with some sleep. Come to think of it, it's my first morning in a new house spending time with God on my birthday. Wow...what a way to move in! Initially our family was thinking of moving to another place, but we believe that God led us to this place instead. It's a more spacious and humble place to stay. Brother decided not to stay with us, but my Dad has a strong feeling that he will come back soon. I have the same impression :)
A photograph overlooking the balcony. What an ideal place to pray for the country!
Ps Ann spoke about security. Being set free so we can help set others free. Insecurity is something which I face in my life. Ps Ann said that everyone faces it, it's only a question of degree. I can trace many issues I struggle with back to insecurity. The need to compare myself with others, even spiritually, boils back to my identity in Christ. In my relationship with others, I can interact best when I feel secure about myself. On the contrary, insecurity would led me to bother excessively about their opinions of me. Even in my seemingly good intentions and efforts to build bridges with people, it can be a form of security. When facing the difficult side of singlehood, I have to beware of not taking the easy way out of finding acceptance and significance through a relationship. In my struggle with my sexuality, I do not want to seek comfort through ways which are not intended to be. I am SECURE IN CHRIST, nothing can change that, irregardless of how I feel or embarassing the situation is.
Looking forward to Japanese buffet tonight with family. Lord, give me the sensitivity and courage to initiate the family to seek You together today.
After dawn prayers this morning, I thought of pampering myself to some nice breakfast by some nice scenary and spend time with God. Flipped open the street directory and saw the Zoo, but unfortunately it requires entry admission. Thought of East coast park, but it was too far. There wasn't much of a choice and I wasn't familiar with the West so I decided to head back to my new home. Spent the morning instead up in the balcony (it's a penthouse) spending time with God and catching up with some sleep. Come to think of it, it's my first morning in a new house spending time with God on my birthday. Wow...what a way to move in! Initially our family was thinking of moving to another place, but we believe that God led us to this place instead. It's a more spacious and humble place to stay. Brother decided not to stay with us, but my Dad has a strong feeling that he will come back soon. I have the same impression :)
A photograph overlooking the balcony. What an ideal place to pray for the country!
Ps Ann spoke about security. Being set free so we can help set others free. Insecurity is something which I face in my life. Ps Ann said that everyone faces it, it's only a question of degree. I can trace many issues I struggle with back to insecurity. The need to compare myself with others, even spiritually, boils back to my identity in Christ. In my relationship with others, I can interact best when I feel secure about myself. On the contrary, insecurity would led me to bother excessively about their opinions of me. Even in my seemingly good intentions and efforts to build bridges with people, it can be a form of security. When facing the difficult side of singlehood, I have to beware of not taking the easy way out of finding acceptance and significance through a relationship. In my struggle with my sexuality, I do not want to seek comfort through ways which are not intended to be. I am SECURE IN CHRIST, nothing can change that, irregardless of how I feel or embarassing the situation is.
Looking forward to Japanese buffet tonight with family. Lord, give me the sensitivity and courage to initiate the family to seek You together today.
Monday, 28 July 2008
Firm decision on Covenant Evangelical Free Church
As I settle back in Singapore, the only two churches which I have considered so far are Grace Assembly which my parents are attending and Covenant Evangelical Free Church. I told my parents last night firmly that I have decided to go to CEFC. Initially I thought I would legitimately 'church-hop' for a couple of months as I settle back in Singapore. However, I am convicted of CEFC's emphasis on the Word and discipleship making.
Just these two days alone, I can see God's hand upon this church. He provided in abundance for the new Woodlands center and also granted TOP just a week before the date they have announced they are moving in (in faith). What amazes me isn't so much the 27 million that God provided, it's the timing. Imagine...He provided all of that just at the very last moment when it's all needed. I have had several cases in my life where I see His guidance and providence at the very end. It's nerve rattling during the waiting process, but this is how He builds faith up! Thank God for the trust and sensitivity of the leadership in CEFC.
Attended my first dawn prayer this morning. God brought the words about bringing joy into His house of prayer as I stepped into the church. It was a service which reaffirmed my decision about CEFC. Ps Edmund shared about the burden God is now placing on his heart, which is that CEFC will be a witnessing church, from the local neighbourhood to worldwide. It's the same heartbeat God has given me. What better place to start my spiritual journey in Singapore! It's not just a reminder to evangelise, but intentional for the next 3 months as a start and believing for visible results.
Yesterday's service was good too. God spoke to me about my inability to fully love him because of sin in my life. The sermon was 2 Cor 7:1 and talked about that which we must remove. It was a breakthrough and God reminded me He would strengthen me as I obey Him in the area of sexual temptations. 2 Cor 16:9, He'll strenghten those whose hearts are FULLY committed to Him. Also, got to know Alvin, En Qi, Ryan, Meihua and Donn briefly during lunch. Sat beside Donn and Meihua during the dawn prayer and I thank God for answering my prayer for divine appointments in CEFC.
Realise some things I take for granted that God would do and perhaps do not feel the need to pray about it. Gotta be careful about my self-deceiving heart. Wanna go back to my books on prayers...
Looking forward to moving to the new house too.
Just these two days alone, I can see God's hand upon this church. He provided in abundance for the new Woodlands center and also granted TOP just a week before the date they have announced they are moving in (in faith). What amazes me isn't so much the 27 million that God provided, it's the timing. Imagine...He provided all of that just at the very last moment when it's all needed. I have had several cases in my life where I see His guidance and providence at the very end. It's nerve rattling during the waiting process, but this is how He builds faith up! Thank God for the trust and sensitivity of the leadership in CEFC.
Attended my first dawn prayer this morning. God brought the words about bringing joy into His house of prayer as I stepped into the church. It was a service which reaffirmed my decision about CEFC. Ps Edmund shared about the burden God is now placing on his heart, which is that CEFC will be a witnessing church, from the local neighbourhood to worldwide. It's the same heartbeat God has given me. What better place to start my spiritual journey in Singapore! It's not just a reminder to evangelise, but intentional for the next 3 months as a start and believing for visible results.
Yesterday's service was good too. God spoke to me about my inability to fully love him because of sin in my life. The sermon was 2 Cor 7:1 and talked about that which we must remove. It was a breakthrough and God reminded me He would strengthen me as I obey Him in the area of sexual temptations. 2 Cor 16:9, He'll strenghten those whose hearts are FULLY committed to Him. Also, got to know Alvin, En Qi, Ryan, Meihua and Donn briefly during lunch. Sat beside Donn and Meihua during the dawn prayer and I thank God for answering my prayer for divine appointments in CEFC.
Realise some things I take for granted that God would do and perhaps do not feel the need to pray about it. Gotta be careful about my self-deceiving heart. Wanna go back to my books on prayers...
Looking forward to moving to the new house too.
Saturday, 19 July 2008
Graduated!
Thank God there is no permanent head damage :)
It was a proud moment between me and God as I walked along the stage during the graduation ceremony. At the end of it all, I told my parents and aunts, 'The show is over'. The actual substance of the entire PhD is in the journey itself over the past 3+ years, I dedicated the graduation (with all its glamour) to God and rejoiced in it. Had fun wearing the gown. It brought a laugh on the faces of my parents and aunts. It felt like a dress and I danced around in it to amuse my friends. Was abit impatient with my mum for abit because of her fuss over the need for all the professional photographs, buying the video, etc. My dad also 'graduated' with a PhD in a matter of seconds as I put the gown on him, that was fun! My lovely aunt became my photographer for the day, thanks Aunt for all the effort :) I put alot of gel on that day and my friend saw the vain side of me as I was styling my hair again just before I went on stage. The last speech during the ceremony was especially good as it talked about giving a honest evaluation to managment and finding a job which you enjoy doing.
The two weeks leading up to the ceremony was fruitful. Started with Mark and Huifen's wedding. Felt bad about the lack of effort in organising Mark's stag night, fortunately it turned out to be pretty smooth as we had dinner at Nosh and went to a pub for a drink. The wedding itself was tiring. Headed to Mark's house at 6am to help him dress up. I admire the couple for making most of the arrangments themselves. It is NOT easy at all. Similiar to graduation, weddings are primarily meant for family and friends. There were 4 bestman speeches and i enjoyed giving mine. The content was from my heart. The loving atmosphere and people's laughter made all the difference. It hasn't been an easy journey with Mark and Huifen, but definately one with valuable lessons and I am sure God has His purposes for it all.
Travelled to Scotland (Loch Lomond, Oban, Isle of Mull, Iona, Edinburgh) with aunts. Thank God for He made so many fantastic arrangments, big and small, from accommodation to the weather. Highlight of the trip was Iona and my aunts thoroughly enjoyed it, it's a small island well suited for retreats. The hostel was the cleanest and most peaceful I ever stayed in and we attended a 9pm service at the Iona abbey. Drove around in a Golf, one of the cars which I was tempted to spurge on but exercised self control when I moved to Mark's house. The fruits of reward after exercising self control is great! Was rewarded again when my aunts bought me a Harrods shotglass at the end of the trip when I previously decided to save money on my endless spending on shotglasses. Got to understand my aunts more and more aware of the generational and gender differences, for example, being more careful about things and not taking things for granted. The background they grew up in is way different from mine, times were much harder.
Another highlight of the trip was climbing Ben Nevis. It was a humbling experience as I nearly thought I couldn't get to the top. On the way down, my knees hurt and I walked almost each step with pain. God tested me about my weakness for girls from the start and I am glad I focused on Him instead. It was a spiritual journey and I meditated around the verse He gave me for my viva, Psa 121, 'I lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from. It comes from God, the maker of heaven and earth'. Literally, it was a dependence on Him on the way up and down considering my physical limitations. The long walk took close to 10 hours and I was glad to be back at Distillery cottage to assure my worried aunts and enjoy a nice home cooked dinner!
My sermon at the chinese church was perhaps the least prepared in terms of the script because I didn't have much time to go thorough it. It turned out to be another valuable lesson as I know that people's responses were due to God and not a well memorised speech. I spoke with a real conviction I had about God's Word and my prayer was that people would have the same conviction. I was touched by the get-together at a restaurant pub after church. I realise more about the impact I had made and I thank God for it.
I leave Nottingham with this in mind, knowing that I have left lasting impressions. Though I am largely unaware of how and what impressions I have made, I remind myself that that is not the focus. That's simply God working His purposes through me for His Kingdom. I pray that I would not be someone who would backslide after a real experience with God and having tasted His guidance and blessings. The working life in front of me will be a test. I also want to make the effort to remain in contact with people and continue to be a living testimony. It's time for a new chapter in Singapore.
This last photograph is the reason why I believe all the effort, time and money spend on my last trip to UK was worthwhile.
It was a proud moment between me and God as I walked along the stage during the graduation ceremony. At the end of it all, I told my parents and aunts, 'The show is over'. The actual substance of the entire PhD is in the journey itself over the past 3+ years, I dedicated the graduation (with all its glamour) to God and rejoiced in it. Had fun wearing the gown. It brought a laugh on the faces of my parents and aunts. It felt like a dress and I danced around in it to amuse my friends. Was abit impatient with my mum for abit because of her fuss over the need for all the professional photographs, buying the video, etc. My dad also 'graduated' with a PhD in a matter of seconds as I put the gown on him, that was fun! My lovely aunt became my photographer for the day, thanks Aunt for all the effort :) I put alot of gel on that day and my friend saw the vain side of me as I was styling my hair again just before I went on stage. The last speech during the ceremony was especially good as it talked about giving a honest evaluation to managment and finding a job which you enjoy doing.
The two weeks leading up to the ceremony was fruitful. Started with Mark and Huifen's wedding. Felt bad about the lack of effort in organising Mark's stag night, fortunately it turned out to be pretty smooth as we had dinner at Nosh and went to a pub for a drink. The wedding itself was tiring. Headed to Mark's house at 6am to help him dress up. I admire the couple for making most of the arrangments themselves. It is NOT easy at all. Similiar to graduation, weddings are primarily meant for family and friends. There were 4 bestman speeches and i enjoyed giving mine. The content was from my heart. The loving atmosphere and people's laughter made all the difference. It hasn't been an easy journey with Mark and Huifen, but definately one with valuable lessons and I am sure God has His purposes for it all.
Travelled to Scotland (Loch Lomond, Oban, Isle of Mull, Iona, Edinburgh) with aunts. Thank God for He made so many fantastic arrangments, big and small, from accommodation to the weather. Highlight of the trip was Iona and my aunts thoroughly enjoyed it, it's a small island well suited for retreats. The hostel was the cleanest and most peaceful I ever stayed in and we attended a 9pm service at the Iona abbey. Drove around in a Golf, one of the cars which I was tempted to spurge on but exercised self control when I moved to Mark's house. The fruits of reward after exercising self control is great! Was rewarded again when my aunts bought me a Harrods shotglass at the end of the trip when I previously decided to save money on my endless spending on shotglasses. Got to understand my aunts more and more aware of the generational and gender differences, for example, being more careful about things and not taking things for granted. The background they grew up in is way different from mine, times were much harder.
Another highlight of the trip was climbing Ben Nevis. It was a humbling experience as I nearly thought I couldn't get to the top. On the way down, my knees hurt and I walked almost each step with pain. God tested me about my weakness for girls from the start and I am glad I focused on Him instead. It was a spiritual journey and I meditated around the verse He gave me for my viva, Psa 121, 'I lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from. It comes from God, the maker of heaven and earth'. Literally, it was a dependence on Him on the way up and down considering my physical limitations. The long walk took close to 10 hours and I was glad to be back at Distillery cottage to assure my worried aunts and enjoy a nice home cooked dinner!
My sermon at the chinese church was perhaps the least prepared in terms of the script because I didn't have much time to go thorough it. It turned out to be another valuable lesson as I know that people's responses were due to God and not a well memorised speech. I spoke with a real conviction I had about God's Word and my prayer was that people would have the same conviction. I was touched by the get-together at a restaurant pub after church. I realise more about the impact I had made and I thank God for it.
I leave Nottingham with this in mind, knowing that I have left lasting impressions. Though I am largely unaware of how and what impressions I have made, I remind myself that that is not the focus. That's simply God working His purposes through me for His Kingdom. I pray that I would not be someone who would backslide after a real experience with God and having tasted His guidance and blessings. The working life in front of me will be a test. I also want to make the effort to remain in contact with people and continue to be a living testimony. It's time for a new chapter in Singapore.
This last photograph is the reason why I believe all the effort, time and money spend on my last trip to UK was worthwhile.
Monday, 23 June 2008
Picking me up
It's so easy for some disciplines to slip away if I do not make the effort. I do want to continue updating this blog as a personal pilgrim and testimony to others.
Finally, I join the ranks of those with a 'Permanent Head Damage'. To be frank, I forgot that I am officially a 'Dr' now until someone jokingly calls me Dr Koh. It ended with a bang, with God showing me that this entire PhD is ALL HIM. I passed my viva with no corrections, which is really rare. Above all my time and effort devoted to my research, He has guided me all along and provided the opportunity to go to the States. God, thank you.
It was a smooth transition back to Singapore, because I have been back so often this year :p Really thankful of my relationship with my parents, and my dad as a mentor in practical aspects of my life. I believe my presence here is also a great support in the midst of the trials facing my family at the moment. Sent out a few resumes last week and I got my first rejection from Mckinsey today. Felt peace about it, simply because that means God doesn't want me to be there :)
Felt overwhelmed about the upcoming time in UK. Being the best man for a wedding, holiday with Aunts, preaching, graduation. Seeing them as 'tasks' will simply kill all the joy and fun. My prayer right now is that I would look forward to them with thanksgiving and joy to be part of these significant events.
Recently went to KL and it was great meeting up with WL, CE, DT, EL, SW, YS and mum. Spent over an hour playing games with WL and CE, something I have not done for ages, though it felt strange going to KL to play games, haha. Wanted to go-kart, but it rained and we all agreed we will do it next time! Was good to see people moving on :) Of course, everyone of us faces our own share of challenges in life, but it's God's of moulding and teaching us.
Felt disoriented throughout this day but am thankful that am picking myself up in God tonight. Blogging helps.
God, help me to put together the best man's speech, sermon and also travel arrangments. Comfort me in my loneliness. Amen.
Finally, I join the ranks of those with a 'Permanent Head Damage'. To be frank, I forgot that I am officially a 'Dr' now until someone jokingly calls me Dr Koh. It ended with a bang, with God showing me that this entire PhD is ALL HIM. I passed my viva with no corrections, which is really rare. Above all my time and effort devoted to my research, He has guided me all along and provided the opportunity to go to the States. God, thank you.
It was a smooth transition back to Singapore, because I have been back so often this year :p Really thankful of my relationship with my parents, and my dad as a mentor in practical aspects of my life. I believe my presence here is also a great support in the midst of the trials facing my family at the moment. Sent out a few resumes last week and I got my first rejection from Mckinsey today. Felt peace about it, simply because that means God doesn't want me to be there :)
Felt overwhelmed about the upcoming time in UK. Being the best man for a wedding, holiday with Aunts, preaching, graduation. Seeing them as 'tasks' will simply kill all the joy and fun. My prayer right now is that I would look forward to them with thanksgiving and joy to be part of these significant events.
Recently went to KL and it was great meeting up with WL, CE, DT, EL, SW, YS and mum. Spent over an hour playing games with WL and CE, something I have not done for ages, though it felt strange going to KL to play games, haha. Wanted to go-kart, but it rained and we all agreed we will do it next time! Was good to see people moving on :) Of course, everyone of us faces our own share of challenges in life, but it's God's of moulding and teaching us.
Felt disoriented throughout this day but am thankful that am picking myself up in God tonight. Blogging helps.
God, help me to put together the best man's speech, sermon and also travel arrangments. Comfort me in my loneliness. Amen.
Monday, 28 April 2008
Business mission trip to Chongqing
God has given me the opportunity to travel to China straight after I finished writing my thesis. Have been telling my friends from China that I would very much like to visit their homeland, but I didn't expect the door to open so soon, 3 days straight after I submitted my thesis! Moreover, I have expressed interest in business and this open door happens to be a rare opportunity for me to join a group of businessmen led by the minister of state for trade and industry, Lee Yi Shyan. Destination is Chongqing, the land of 3 beauties, 'Shan', 'Shui', 'Mei Nu'. I have no doubt this is a divine opportunity.
When I first read the participant booklet, I felt overwhelmed because there were many CEOs and everyone had a wealth of experience. I thank God for this leap out of my comfort zone even before I have completed my Phd. I had no idea what to expect, only remember feeling like a fish out of the water during the first day were a group of 30+ people in suits were exchanging name cards with each other. Guess it was like any other social event, except at a professional level. I felt comfortable being in a suit for a week, guess because everyone else were dressed the same. We had meetings with the government officials from different areas and they shared about their developments and discussions were aimed at facilitating Singapore businesses in China. They treated us to generous helpings of food, it's a belief that it would be shame for the host if the guests left with empty plates on the table.
This is a trip of divine appointments. I had intentions to email Grace from Nottingham to check out for churches, but didn't get around it. I eventually thought I would ask the reception at the hotel. Who knows....on sat night when dad and myself were roaming a street in search for food, we came across this humble dumpling stall. I saw a calender with a cross on the wall and asked them if they were Christians. To the praise of God, they were and gave us the address of the church they go to. It was an awesome service, a simple room with chairs, keyboard and as my eyes were looking at the people in the room, I was greatly touched by how great God is. Another is during the end of a dinner where the minister was present and as he was walking out, I felt an urge to take a video. The moment I started recording, my dad reached out his hand and made contact with the minister. They chatted for a brief moment. My heart was like 'Wah...like that also can...'.
Brought the book 'Practising the presence of God' by Brother Lawrence along. Thin book, but packed with powerful insights. It was a relevant book to read as I was actively applying throughout this trip. To be able to connect with God not just in QT but in the midst of activities and the buzz is essential. Something a brother said which is deeply rooted in my heart, 'When I am not speaking to people, I am speaking to God'. Was memorising Psa 139 also and one thing God has spoken to me clearly throughout the week is of his omni-presence, it's a comfort and a reminder that I better be obedient :)
This is getting to be a pretty long entry. Believe me, I am trying as hard to make it concise already! I will forgive you if you decide to drop out halfway...but the best is yet to come :p Ok lah...make it point form so easier to read :)
The things God opened my heart and eyes to:
1) The people in China.
My precious moments were the times in the coach where I gazed out of the window and saw waves of people in the streets. These are the multitudes and after hearing so much about China, there they are, lost sheep needing a shepherd. Needing a hope which is stored in heaven and revealed through the Word of God.
2) A heart for these business executives.
Perhaps there is a tendency to assume that wealthy businessman tend to be more 'ungodly'. Afterall, business is associated with worldly things and we may automatically assume that these people have climbed up the ladder against the wrong wall. However, we all fall short. A CEO may not necessarily be more self-centered than anyone walking in the streets. In fact, over the past week, I have seen many people helping and looking out for each other as a team. I asked a member of the team whether she came across many Christians in the business world and she said no. No doubt this is a ministry by itself. Imagine what a difference these people could make if they knew the truth about life!
I do not see myself to possess important qualities of a top level executive, particularly in the area of networking where small talk is needed. However, there are things which God has put in my life which may lead me along this path. I am praying to God that if this is one day where He wants me to be, it's through Him, because I know that by myself, I cannot do it. Someone commented that smoking/ktv is an excellent way to network with people, in my mind, I was thinking 'God will provide the divine appointments'. I have to be tactful also though. Towards the end, there was talk about doing 'sexy' business. I literally said 'No way' out loud and I must have looked very serious.
I wonder whether one day I will end up in China, haha, exciting thought. Whatever it is, I must remind myself not to rush and my first job will merely be a stepping stone. Think big, Start small, Build deep. One aspect of building deep at the moment besides God is also improving my Chinese. Again, that's one of my weak areas where I need to depend on God's strength if I were to look to China.
Thank God for this exposure over the past week. Although there wasn't any direct benefits for me, but it's a sign that God provides divine appointments and He is watching over me and you :)
When I first read the participant booklet, I felt overwhelmed because there were many CEOs and everyone had a wealth of experience. I thank God for this leap out of my comfort zone even before I have completed my Phd. I had no idea what to expect, only remember feeling like a fish out of the water during the first day were a group of 30+ people in suits were exchanging name cards with each other. Guess it was like any other social event, except at a professional level. I felt comfortable being in a suit for a week, guess because everyone else were dressed the same. We had meetings with the government officials from different areas and they shared about their developments and discussions were aimed at facilitating Singapore businesses in China. They treated us to generous helpings of food, it's a belief that it would be shame for the host if the guests left with empty plates on the table.
This is a trip of divine appointments. I had intentions to email Grace from Nottingham to check out for churches, but didn't get around it. I eventually thought I would ask the reception at the hotel. Who knows....on sat night when dad and myself were roaming a street in search for food, we came across this humble dumpling stall. I saw a calender with a cross on the wall and asked them if they were Christians. To the praise of God, they were and gave us the address of the church they go to. It was an awesome service, a simple room with chairs, keyboard and as my eyes were looking at the people in the room, I was greatly touched by how great God is. Another is during the end of a dinner where the minister was present and as he was walking out, I felt an urge to take a video. The moment I started recording, my dad reached out his hand and made contact with the minister. They chatted for a brief moment. My heart was like 'Wah...like that also can...'.
Brought the book 'Practising the presence of God' by Brother Lawrence along. Thin book, but packed with powerful insights. It was a relevant book to read as I was actively applying throughout this trip. To be able to connect with God not just in QT but in the midst of activities and the buzz is essential. Something a brother said which is deeply rooted in my heart, 'When I am not speaking to people, I am speaking to God'. Was memorising Psa 139 also and one thing God has spoken to me clearly throughout the week is of his omni-presence, it's a comfort and a reminder that I better be obedient :)
This is getting to be a pretty long entry. Believe me, I am trying as hard to make it concise already! I will forgive you if you decide to drop out halfway...but the best is yet to come :p Ok lah...make it point form so easier to read :)
The things God opened my heart and eyes to:
1) The people in China.
My precious moments were the times in the coach where I gazed out of the window and saw waves of people in the streets. These are the multitudes and after hearing so much about China, there they are, lost sheep needing a shepherd. Needing a hope which is stored in heaven and revealed through the Word of God.
2) A heart for these business executives.
Perhaps there is a tendency to assume that wealthy businessman tend to be more 'ungodly'. Afterall, business is associated with worldly things and we may automatically assume that these people have climbed up the ladder against the wrong wall. However, we all fall short. A CEO may not necessarily be more self-centered than anyone walking in the streets. In fact, over the past week, I have seen many people helping and looking out for each other as a team. I asked a member of the team whether she came across many Christians in the business world and she said no. No doubt this is a ministry by itself. Imagine what a difference these people could make if they knew the truth about life!
I do not see myself to possess important qualities of a top level executive, particularly in the area of networking where small talk is needed. However, there are things which God has put in my life which may lead me along this path. I am praying to God that if this is one day where He wants me to be, it's through Him, because I know that by myself, I cannot do it. Someone commented that smoking/ktv is an excellent way to network with people, in my mind, I was thinking 'God will provide the divine appointments'. I have to be tactful also though. Towards the end, there was talk about doing 'sexy' business. I literally said 'No way' out loud and I must have looked very serious.
I wonder whether one day I will end up in China, haha, exciting thought. Whatever it is, I must remind myself not to rush and my first job will merely be a stepping stone. Think big, Start small, Build deep. One aspect of building deep at the moment besides God is also improving my Chinese. Again, that's one of my weak areas where I need to depend on God's strength if I were to look to China.
Thank God for this exposure over the past week. Although there wasn't any direct benefits for me, but it's a sign that God provides divine appointments and He is watching over me and you :)
Wednesday, 9 April 2008
Reflections from Saul
Reading 1 Samuel and many things about Saul struck me. So often, when I think of David and Saul, I see myself as David and would never imagine myself to be like Saul. But upon reading it again, I realise how much of a Saul is there in me.
It's quite amazing how well Saul started out. Samuel annointed him, God changed his heart and turned him into another man (1 Sam 10). He even had the heart to forgive those who did not initially acknowledge his kingship. He acknowledged God in his victory. Similiar to how Israel tried to depend on past victories (1 Sam 4) but were utterly defeated by the Philistines, I cannot assume that I am alright because I see God's hand in my life. When God was displeased with Saul, Saul continued to lead Israel into victories. It's more to do with God's will than ourselves. The only victory which we can count on is the cross. It's a daily renewal of self and continual dependence upon God.
Recently was reminded by a sister, 'When I face a difficult situation, do I instinctly turn to God first or people for counsel?'. It reflects my theology. When Saul started to turn away from God, he made decisions first before the priests reminded him to inquire of God. Many times, I have made my own plans without bringing them before God first. Am not saying I should fast or pray for long hours before making every single decision, but to acknowledge Him in my heart in everything.
Saul put his self-image before obedience to God. He did not totally wipe out the Amalekites because he was afraid of the people and gave in to them (1 Sam 15:24). He even request Samuel to honor him before the elders (1 Sam 15:30). Every single day, I would find myself doing things for the eyes of others. I remember clearly in primary school when I was infatuated with a girl. I walked home everyday while her dad would pick her up and their car would pass by at a point of my journey. I often ran to that junction just so that she could spot me!
Saul thought he could justify his disobedience by taking the best of the plunder and sacrificing them to God. But God does not delight in burnt offerings as much as obedience. A valuable lesson. It's amazing to see God in the things I do whenever I take the small step of obedience and desiring to please Him instead of people.
These are valuable insights to caution me not to finish like Saul did. There are many things at the moment I want to do for God and have to remind myself that obedience is utmost.
It's quite amazing how well Saul started out. Samuel annointed him, God changed his heart and turned him into another man (1 Sam 10). He even had the heart to forgive those who did not initially acknowledge his kingship. He acknowledged God in his victory. Similiar to how Israel tried to depend on past victories (1 Sam 4) but were utterly defeated by the Philistines, I cannot assume that I am alright because I see God's hand in my life. When God was displeased with Saul, Saul continued to lead Israel into victories. It's more to do with God's will than ourselves. The only victory which we can count on is the cross. It's a daily renewal of self and continual dependence upon God.
Recently was reminded by a sister, 'When I face a difficult situation, do I instinctly turn to God first or people for counsel?'. It reflects my theology. When Saul started to turn away from God, he made decisions first before the priests reminded him to inquire of God. Many times, I have made my own plans without bringing them before God first. Am not saying I should fast or pray for long hours before making every single decision, but to acknowledge Him in my heart in everything.
Saul put his self-image before obedience to God. He did not totally wipe out the Amalekites because he was afraid of the people and gave in to them (1 Sam 15:24). He even request Samuel to honor him before the elders (1 Sam 15:30). Every single day, I would find myself doing things for the eyes of others. I remember clearly in primary school when I was infatuated with a girl. I walked home everyday while her dad would pick her up and their car would pass by at a point of my journey. I often ran to that junction just so that she could spot me!
Saul thought he could justify his disobedience by taking the best of the plunder and sacrificing them to God. But God does not delight in burnt offerings as much as obedience. A valuable lesson. It's amazing to see God in the things I do whenever I take the small step of obedience and desiring to please Him instead of people.
These are valuable insights to caution me not to finish like Saul did. There are many things at the moment I want to do for God and have to remind myself that obedience is utmost.
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